Silly Rabbit, Wednesday One-Liners Are for Kids

Excited little girl to friend: Hey! Wanna see my room? It's really cool! I got a bed!

–Whole Foods, Tribeca

Three-year-old girl, excitedly pointing at picture on store front: Look mommy, it's Buddha! It's Buddha!

–Ave B b/w 3rd & 4th

Overheard by: EVgirl

Young girl to father: Only 1,486 days until I'm 18 and then I can do whatever the heck I want.

–E 78th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Brandon F

4-year-old girl to father trying to board overcrowded train: Jesus, we should have taken the bus! I told you we should have taken the bus.

–Uptown 4 Train

Overheard by: kdice

Five-year-old son to father who just dropped BlackBerry: What the hell just happened here?

–Great Lawn, Central Park

Four-year-old girl: I'mma hustla! I'mma, I'mma hustla!

–Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: Nina

Posted on December 5, 2014
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Blackberry, Buddha, Central Park, Dads, Friends, Insults, Kids, Offers and requests, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Public Transportation, Should've Used a Condom, Time, Upper East Side, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Whole Foods, Wishes & desires

Padma: “I Found the Tongue Bland and Uninspiring”

Girl: We're across the street from Padma Lakshmi's favorite pizza place. Too bad I've never seen her in it. Because I would probably accidentally kiss her or something.
Guy: With tongue.
Girl: Duh!

–18th & Lex

Posted on December 4, 2014
About Celebrities, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

I Told You Not to Get Waxed in the Shape Of a Strip

NYU girl #1: So when you were in Israel did you hook up with any hot Israeli guys?
NYU girl #2: Yeah, he was this really hot army officer. But he was so aggressive…I think he though I was Gaza or something.

–Washington Square Park

Posted on December 4, 2014
Compare/Contrast, Hook Ups, Sorority Girls, Travel, War, Washington Square Park, Weirdness

No Wednesday One-Liner, No Love

50-something beefy man in wife beater on cell: Yo! I've got a bag of condoms and Jolly Ranchers!

–14th & 6th

Overheard by: Funky Monkey

Preppy girl to friend on phone: I mean… I've had to take Plan B twice this week already!

–2nd Ave & 9th

Drunken street vendor: Buy these Obama condoms! Flavored with hope, they'll get you through "hard" times!

–Times Square

Woman on cell: I got home to take a shower and he stuffs a bunch of condoms in his pocket right in front of me and then walks out the door. I mean what the hell is that?

–Astor Place

Man to woman on escalator: Well, just next time, remember to use protection!

–Babies"R"Us, Union Square

Overheard by: miziz

Posted on December 3, 2014
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Cleanliness, Condoms, Drunks, Erections, Food, Friends, Men, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Preppies, President, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Store, Street, The Village, Time, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Are You Supposed to Tell Me That?

Girl: I haven't seen you in a while.
NYU security guard: Witness protection program. It's like a Bar Mitzvah for Italians.

–NYU

Posted on December 3, 2014
Compare/Contrast, Crime and Punishment, Girls, Judaism, NYU, Security Guards, Weirdness

You Know I Have a Lazy Jaw.

Guy: I only go down if there's reciprocity.
Girl: Oh, you and your rules.

–Union Square

Posted on December 3, 2014
Girls, Guys, Relationships, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Would You Like Me to Speak More Slowly?

40-something woman in sweatpants: I don't believe in genealogy.
40-something woman with backpack: Huh?!

–52nd St & Broadway

Overheard by: CK//DDG

Posted on December 3, 2014
Family Ties, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Philosophy, Weirdness, Women

That Just Means He Likes Kids

Girl #1: So this is the man you want to marry?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: And you said there were how many maggots on the turkey?

–3rd & B

Posted on December 3, 2014
Animals & Nature, Food, Friends, Girls, Marriage, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Except When the Host Asked You to Pick Between Doors #1 and #2

Guy #1: So, you taking the hot tub or what?
Guy #2: I'd rather have six years of my life than the hot tub.
Guy #1: Well, you don't really have a choice.

–Court St & Congress St

Overheard by: Matthew

Posted on December 2, 2014
Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Default, Queer guys, Questions, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Weirdness