High school girl to raucous group of friends: Oh man, remember the time we dared him to lick the church?
Group of friends: (wild laughter)
–Outside Grace Church, Broadway & 10th St
High school girl to raucous group of friends: Oh man, remember the time we dared him to lick the church?
Group of friends: (wild laughter)
–Outside Grace Church, Broadway & 10th St
12-year-old boy #1, holding tomato: What should we do with this?
12-year-old-boy #2: It's our tomato. We can do anything we want with it… Except have sex with it.
–Greenpoint
Overheard by: Avi
Random guy to two girls: Hey, are you from NYU?
Girl: Yeah.
Random guy: Murderers!
–3rd Ave & 11th St
20-something suit on phone: Yeah, man. Just come over. We can spoon and talk about chicks and shit.
–Wall & Pearl
Overheard by: traceface
Thug to another: Those bitches be cuddlin' your wounds!
–42nd St
Hispanic woman on phone: Yeah, it's crazy snowin' outside. (pause) Uh-huh, yeah, you wanna cuddle. (pause) Hahaha, uh-oh! (pause) Uh-oh, spaghetti-o! (pause) Haha, no, you've already done that. (pause) Hahaha… You've done that already. I have to spin the other way now.. (pause) He he he, you're crazy. Hee heee. (pause) Well, you have a lovely day inside a warm place!
–Q Train
Overheard by: Em Allears
Crazy lady to herself: Does anyone wanna snuggle me for the hell of it? (five minutes later) Why are all these people here? Is it a workday? Cuz if it is, I'm going to get fired. I need a beer!
–G Train
Overheard by: LaughedOutLoud
Guy at cafe: I have pillows just for spooning.
–6th St & 2nd Ave
Woman #1: Hey Maria, how's your mother doing?
Woman #2: He's all right. He's recovering from his operation.
Woman #1: She had to have an operation? I thought she just sprained her ankle!
Woman #2: Oh, that? That was nothing. I'm talking about the operation he had last week.
Woman #1: He?
Woman #2: Yes.
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Sunny
Shop assistant #1: I'm going to get those black and gold trainers for community service. We have these lime green vests and they'll look great with the vest!
Shop assistant #2: You're accessorizing your community service outfit?
–Shoe Shop, Srping St & Broadway
Overheard by: Keziah
Boy #1: Dude, do you speak Japanese?
Boy #2: That's what she said!
Boy #1: What?
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
NYU boy #1: Jeff Goldblum enslaved my parents.
NYU boy #2: Jeff Goldblum lay siege to my castle.
NYU girl #2: Jeff Goldblum killed my velociraptor.
–3rd Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Woman #1, singing: Follow the road, follow the road…
Woman #2: (is silent)
Woman #1, singing: Wiki, wiki, wiki, whoo, whoo! (does excited thumb dance)
Woman #2, joining in: Wiki, wiki, wiki, whoo, whoo! (thumbs dance)
Woman #1 and #2: (laugh together)
–Movie Theater, 66th St
Overheard by: April
Large group of people dressed like Santa: What do we want? Christmas! When do we want it? Now!
–Washington Square
Overheard by: TR
Gay guy on cell: You don't want to see white Christmas. Honey, you don't understand… That was the whitest Christmas I have ever seen.
–Broadway & 43rd
20-something woman to 20-something guy, in April: It wouldn't be Christmas without you.
–Stromboli's Pizza
Mom to child yelling at her: Who do you think you're talking to? That's it, Christmas is over for you!
–135th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Yowza
Normal-looking woman to no one in particular: Look at Santa. The same letters as "Satan." Do you think Christmas has anything to do with Jesus? Where in the Bible does it say Jesus was born on December 24th? I tell you, Santa is Satan.
–Xmas Tree Stand, High School
Staples employee, in response to radio: Man! I want to move to Vietnam, or Pakistan, or wherever the fuck they don't care about Christmas.
–Staples, Union Square
Overheard by: Damon H.
Man to friend during interval: Have you heard about the Scientology Christmas pageant?
–Carnegie Hall
