How Many Weight Watchers Points Are in a Wednesday One-Liner?

Average-sized woman on cell: He said "big boned." Yeah, "you're a big boned girl… Like your dad, kinda big boned." (pause) Yeah, so, I didn't really feel like eating much after that.

–Queens

Overheard by: bdlilrbt

Girl to friend: I always think I'm a thin person, but then I look into the mirror and realize I'm not.

–3rd & 13th

Super skinny Japanese girl: I brought my juice with me. Then I ordered dessert. But my juice just looked better than eating dessert.

–Downtown 1 Train

Overheard by: dignell

Middle aged women to friend: Yeah, we took her in for a few weeks. She was fine, but didn't eat much. But that's because she kind of has an eating disorder. (they burst out into a fit of laughter)

–F Train

Girl getting soda to friend: You know, it's the ice that makes you fat. I heard that somewhere.

–Cafeteria, Marymount Manhattan

Overheard by: Hannah

Posted on March 31, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, College, Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Drinks, Food, Friends, Girls, Japanese, Laughter, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Psychology, Queens, Skinny People, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

A Wednesday One-Liner to Remember

Midwestern mother to ticket vendor: Thank goodness for the bus, we've been in the hotel for four days because we can't walk anymore!

–50th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Kate

Ditz, singing and marching: It's a sidewalk, so I have to walk on it!

–St. Mark's & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Hannah

Sarcastic, portly girl: Great, my two favorite things: walking and learning.

–Governor's Island Ferry

Crazy man in the middle of the street blocking traffic: Car are outlawed! Walk everywhere! I walked to China last week! I walked to Paris yesterday!

–18th & 3rd

Overheard by: Maria

Tough guy to another: I'm a little afraid to walk around with you 'cause it seems everyone you work with dies.

–PJ Clarke's

Posted on March 31, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cars and Driving, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Crime and Punishment, Death, Education, Fears, Ferry, Girls, God, Guys, Jobs & Careers, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Midwesterners, Moms, One-liners, Public Transportation, Restaurants & Cafes, Singing, Street, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Are a Real Sob Story

Cute girl on Penn station escalator: I dipped my dim sum in her tears!

–NJ Transit

Man in running gear on cell: I never get to, but I'm going to try again. I just hope I don't cry!

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Daniel

Girl to friend: I cried so hard it went down and under my armpit.

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: porter

Bartender: I'll bet he cries when he masturbates.

–MacDougal & W 3rd

Overheard by: Greg

Woman to friends: My vagina is leaking tears right now.

–5th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Zoe

Posted on March 31, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bartenders, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Crying, Ethnic Food, Friends, Girls, Masturbation, Men, On Cell, One-liners, Street, The Village, Trains Not Subway, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Any Weirder Than Eating the Body Of Christ? Weigh In, Readers!

High school girl to raucous group of friends: Oh man, remember the time we dared him to lick the church?
Group of friends: (wild laughter)

–Outside Grace Church, Broadway & 10th St

Posted on March 27, 2010
Church, Friends, Girls, Laughter, Licking, Students, The Village, Weirdness

Raise Your Hand If You Know What Happens Next

12-year-old boy #1, holding tomato: What should we do with this?
12-year-old-boy #2: It's our tomato. We can do anything we want with it… Except have sex with it.

–Greenpoint

Overheard by: Avi

Posted on March 26, 2010
Brooklyn, Food, Sex, Tweens, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Murderers…of Ignorance

Random guy to two girls: Hey, are you from NYU?
Girl: Yeah.
Random guy: Murderers!

–3rd Ave & 11th St

Posted on March 25, 2010
Girls, Guys, Murder, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions, School and studying, Strangers, Weirdness

Wednesday Loves the Smell Of One-Liners' Hair

20-something suit on phone: Yeah, man. Just come over. We can spoon and talk about chicks and shit.

–Wall & Pearl

Overheard by: traceface

Thug to another: Those bitches be cuddlin' your wounds!

–42nd St

Hispanic woman on phone: Yeah, it's crazy snowin' outside. (pause) Uh-huh, yeah, you wanna cuddle. (pause) Hahaha, uh-oh! (pause) Uh-oh, spaghetti-o! (pause) Haha, no, you've already done that. (pause) Hahaha… You've done that already. I have to spin the other way now.. (pause) He he he, you're crazy. Hee heee. (pause) Well, you have a lovely day inside a warm place!

–Q Train

Overheard by: Em Allears

Crazy lady to herself: Does anyone wanna snuggle me for the hell of it? (five minutes later) Why are all these people here? Is it a workday? Cuz if it is, I'm going to get fired. I need a beer!

–G Train

Overheard by: LaughedOutLoud

Guy at cafe: I have pillows just for spooning.

–6th St & 2nd Ave

Posted on March 24, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Crazies, Drinking & Drunk People, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Home, Sweet Home, Jobs & Careers, Latinos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nicknames & name calling, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Sexuality, Street, Suits, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weather, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Eek.

Woman #1: Hey Maria, how's your mother doing?
Woman #2: He's all right. He's recovering from his operation.
Woman #1: She had to have an operation? I thought she just sprained her ankle!
Woman #2: Oh, that? That was nothing. I'm talking about the operation he had last week.
Woman #1: He?
Woman #2: Yes.

–Coney Island

Overheard by: Sunny

Posted on March 22, 2010
Body Parts, Coney Island, Gender issues, Parents, Sexuality, Surgery, Weirdness, Women

I Think Of It As Servicessorizing

Shop assistant #1: I'm going to get those black and gold trainers for community service. We have these lime green vests and they'll look great with the vest!
Shop assistant #2: You're accessorizing your community service outfit?

–Shoe Shop, Srping St & Broadway

Overheard by: Keziah

Posted on March 21, 2010
Clothing, Coworkers, Physical appearance, Soho, Store, Weirdness

Weirdness