I Think We've Stumbled Upon the Idea for a Sci-Fi Flick

Girl #1: What do you call a person who delivers newspapers?
Girl #2: A “delivery person.”
Girl #1: Fine, be the non-conformist.
Girl #2: What would the conformist say?
Girl #1: “Paperboy,” and then get confused because what if it's an old woman?
Girl #2: Oh right, so, “paper person.” But then it sounds like those paper people chains I used to make as a kid, except mine were always awful and deformed…because you make one little mistake and then they're all fucked up. Suddenly I've got a chain of twenty-one legged freaks and can't sleep at night.
Girl #1: “Twenty one-legged freaks.” Not “twenty-one legged freaks.”
Girl #2: Though both terrifying.
Girl #1: The heck you talking about?

–Union Square

Posted on January 23, 2015
Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Nicknames & name calling, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Words

Wednesday One-Liners Embrace the Stereotype

Queer: I don't want someone to fuck me with their stoma!

–11th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Amanda

Gay guy: That girl is such a Rice Krispie.

–Outside Gristedes, Christopher St

Overheard by: McF

Queer on cell: And I said to him, "Take it like the bottom you are!"

–8th St & 23rd St

Gay guy: I just got pounded by the two hottest guys I've ever seen!

–58th & 9th

Gay man (getting his hair cut by another): So we went to Fire Island this weekend and we went to this party. I said, "Patrick, you better pee on Jon right now to mark your territory."

–57th & 7th

Gay man on cell: Oh, morals disappear after 8pm!

–Amsterdam & 83rd

Posted on January 23, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Celebrations/Parties, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Grocery Stores, Lesbians, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Pee, Queer guys, Sex, The Village, Three is Company, Time, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Wishes & desires

Wednesday Om-Liners

Earth chick on cell: I had meditation and yoga class today. So, if you're coming over tonight we have to have spiritual sex.

–Barnes & Noble

Guy on cell: You're never going to believe this, but I need to tell you anyways. I just did some witchcraft.

–9th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Smoking Student

Yoga teacher: Not being able to do something can teach you a lot about yourself. Like how you're a fucking loser.

–Midtown

Rich white girl with dog in purse: Yeah, so when I went to go buy a dog, I picked Pookie out because he's a Pisces and I'm a Virgo, and that way our personalities will match.

–C Train

Overheard by: evan

White dude to another: I'd like to see what his chi looks like.

–Chinatown

Overheard by: Aileen

Posted on January 21, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Chinatown, Girls, Guys, Insults, Magic, Man's Best Friend, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Psychology, Rich people, School and studying, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Shopping, Store, Street, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People, Wishes & desires, Yoga

The Coast Guard and I Like to Think Of It As an Elaborate Game Of Monkey in the Middle

Bemused tourist: I can't believe the Coast Guard just rescued that kid's soccer ball.
Kid running by: That's the eighth time he's done that!

–Staten Island Port

Overheard by: tastycanucks

Posted on January 21, 2015
Cops, Kids, Staten Island, Time, Tourism, Tourists, Weirdness

Look What Britney Spears Hath Wrought

High School Girl: Yeah, he’s like older, and really successful and stuff.
High School Guy: Is he critical?
High School Girl: Yeah. Totally critical.

–6 Train

Posted on January 21, 2015
Age/Aging, Girls, Hook Ups, On the Subway, Questions, Teens, Weirdness, Words

It's Not Just Trees That Have Trouble Growing in Brooklyn

Mother to toddler: Do I love you a lot or a little?
Toddler: A little?
Mother: No, a lot! It's your shithead father that only loves you a little!

–Jay St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Margaret

Posted on January 20, 2015
Brooklyn, Insults, Kids, Love, Moms, Parents, Questions, Weirdness

She’s Not So Good with Things Not Discussed on “Sex and the City”

Customer: Can you tell me if there are any locations in the Washington DC or Baltimore areas?
Secretary: Um where is Baltimore?
Customer: It’s in Maryland.
Secretary: No, we don’t have any in Maryland… And DC — where is DC?
Customer: Like, Washington DC…
Secretary: It says we don’t have any in that state. There’s some close by in Arizonia and California though.
Customer: No, Washington DC — like, our nation’s capitol.
Secretary: No, I don’t think so. Sorry, I’m not so good with geography.

–Brite Smile, 57th St

Overheard by: Tracey G

Posted on January 19, 2015
9 to 5-ers, Customers, Default, History & Geography, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Store, Stupidity, Weirdness

Dr. Ruth Was a Challenge to Raise

Little girl, peeking under shower curtain: Hi!
Lady in shower: Hi!
Little girl, pulling back shower curtain: Hiiii! Wow! Mom! Come here! You need to see this!

–Dodge YMCA Locker Room, Brooklyn

Posted on January 18, 2015
Brooklyn, Cleanliness, Kids, Parents, Weirdness, Women

Those Bed Bugs Were the Only Ones Who Really Understood Me

Mother: … And I cleaned your pillow cases…
Screaming child: No!
Mother: … And your blankets…
Screaming child: No!
Mother: … And your sheets!
Screaming child: No! No! No! [Cries.]

–Astoria

Overheard by: Almost too cold to laugh

Posted on January 18, 2015
Astoria, Cleanliness, Clothing, Crying, Default, Gripes, Kids, Moms, Weirdness

The Truth Is Too Boring to Tell

Lady in SUV shouting out window: What’s everyone standing in line for?
Hipster guy in line: Free Kittens!
Lady in SUV: What?
Hipster guy: Rolling Stones!
Lady in SUV: Oh.

–Art exhibition, Spring St

Overheard by: namatovu

Posted on January 18, 2015
Guys, Hipsters, Lower East Side, Questions, Strangers, Weirdness, Women

Weirdness