Woman: I got yoo-hooed just now by Greg.
Man: Yoo-hooed?
Woman: Yeah, he totally waved his hand and said, ‘Yoo-hoo!’
Man: Dude, you just can’t say that if you’re under the age of 65 and not referring to a chocolate beverage.
–Central Park
Woman: I got yoo-hooed just now by Greg.
Man: Yoo-hooed?
Woman: Yeah, he totally waved his hand and said, ‘Yoo-hoo!’
Man: Dude, you just can’t say that if you’re under the age of 65 and not referring to a chocolate beverage.
–Central Park
Distraught girl: Is there an ‘I’ in ‘relationship’?
Guy: [Silence.]Distraught girl: Well, is there?!
Guy: Um… There’s two, actually…
Distraught girl: God… You’re so selfish! You just don’t understand me.!
–Brother Jimmy’s, 92nd & 3rd
Overheard by: issheaskinghimthis?
Professor: Does anyone know where the term “Passover” comes from?
Student: It's because the Jews put blood on their doors so Jesus would pass over their house and not kill the first-born son.
–Classroom, Fordham University
Overheard by: dundun
Girl, stung by bee: Ahhh! That motherfucker pinched me!
Boy: I’m gonna kill that nigga bee!
–125th & Broadway
Little girl: Mommy, what are you doing?
Mother: Rubbing my eyes — they itch. What are you doing?
Little girl: I’m buttoning my finger.
–University Pl & 11th St
Overheard by: Pat Nich
Yuppie: I was just teaching the scientific method to my students.
Nerd: Oh, so you teach them induction and deduction?
Yuppie: [long pause] The students aren’t that smart so I don’t teach them big words like those.
— Party, Manhattan
Mom pushing stroller: … And how do you spell ‘Loch Ness’?
Four-year-old boy: L, um… L-O, um… um… L-O-C-H-N-E-S-S
–17th St & Irving Pl
Girl: I'm not going home straight.
Boy: I think you mean “I'm not going straight home.”
Girl: No. I mean “I'm not going home straight.”
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Hipster #1: I'm not a hipster. I'm a bisexual Jew with a penchant for interning at alternative magazines and weeklies.
Hipster #2: You've got the words “bisexual, Jew, penchant, interning,” and “alternative” in a single sentence. Dude, that is the definition of hipster.
–Think Coffee
Preppy guy: This may be the last thing I say with my penis attached, but…
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Hunter
Girl on cell: Well, I mean… his penis is really important here, if his is better I'll take him!
–26th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: your mom
Asian guy: Everyone else was on the floor. Everyone had a penis in their face.
–D Train
Overheard by: Jon A.
Girl on cell: All I'm saying is: don't jump on the first penis that comes along!
–Broadway
Boss, about weightlifting: My genitals were so inverted I used to crap my penis.
–5th Ave
Teacher: There are about six euphemisms for "penis" in the first scene!
–Junior High School
Overheard by: gabygrillz
