Drunk girl: So I wouldn't ask you this if I were sober, but I just have to ask. When you…yunno…are you generally the…penetree, or the…penetrant?
Gay guy: Uhm, you mean, the penetrated or the penetrator?
Drunk girl, laughing: Oh, right. Well. Damn. I mean, gay sex is supposed to be better in France, right?
–Kittichai Restaurant
Overheard by: Brandy
Black receptionist: Carlos De Jesus George? Are you here?
Latino receptionist: It’s not pronounced ‘De Je-zus George,’ but ‘De He-sus Hor-he.’
Black receptionist: Excuse me? What are you saying? This clearly says ‘Carlos De Jesus George.
Latino receptionist: No mother would name their son Jesus. And besides, that’s not the correct pronunciation in Spanish.
Black receptionist: What? Oh, girl, you know I don’t speak those words.
–Doctor’s office, 15th & 1st
Guy #1: So, what's “emo”? Like gay?
Guy #2: Basically.
–Outside Soldier McGee Tavern
Overheard by: Jason
Queer: If a song starts with, ‘It’s Britney, bitch!’ you kind of expect it to be good!
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: Um, You do?
Girl: Why you call me a bitch? I’m Nigerian!
–NYU bus
Overheard by: sjhaughty
Thug on cell: You a bitch! You afraid to shower!
–42nd St
Overheard by: Brian Libido
Three-year-old WASP, entering room: Welcome to this bitch!
–Supercuts, St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: Leo
Kid running ahead of exhausted mom: Run, bitch! Run!
–Prince St & W Broadway
Woman: When I got into college I entered into a world of sausage.
Man: Uh…
Woman: Come on!
–D Train
Overheard by: pop pop
Six-year-old girl: I'm hot.
Babysitter: I know, it's really hot out.
Six-year-old girl, jumping up and down: No, I'm *hot*, like sexy hot!
–74th St & West End
Overheard by: urbanadventurer
Woman at bar to her friend: Ok, I know I’m an art dealer, but I’m like, the least bourgeois person I know.
–Smith & Mills (restaurant in Tribeca)
Overheard by: the lerpa
Little boy to friends: There are are four really big, important artists: Monet, Van Gogh, Renoir and… Pistachio.
–Impressionism Room, Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: I love Pistachio’s green period
Young girl: These paintings smell nice and fresh!
–The Met
Angry white suburban artist to Jews for Jesus: Stop talking! You are pushing this on me without me asking -that makes you a cult. Go away. We don’t like your kind here -we are all white suburban artists.
–Morgan L Stop on Bogart
Overheard by: not a hipster
Gangsta: Dali? Ain’t he like, Picasso or some shit?
–The Met
Girl #1: Oy vey.
Girl #2: What’s an ‘oy vey’?
Girl #1: It’s something French people say when they’re stressed out.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: bhahah
Trendy homo: Last Tuesday was so much fun!
Boy toy: Last Tuesday is when I broke up with you.
Trendy homo: Yea, but nothing has really changed. I just don't have to say “I love you” anymore when we're having sex.
–56th & 9th
Guy: “1-800-Deportees”? That’s a horrible phone number.
Chick: That’s “deportes.” Sports!
–1 train
Overheard by: djlindee
