Boyfriend: Well, what cup size are you?
Girlfriend: I'm like an A and a half and a B and a half…it sucks.
Boyfriend: So…that's a full AB plus one.
Girlfriend: You know you can't combine unlike terms!
–32nd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Kimberly
Boyfriend: Well, what cup size are you?
Girlfriend: I'm like an A and a half and a B and a half…it sucks.
Boyfriend: So…that's a full AB plus one.
Girlfriend: You know you can't combine unlike terms!
–32nd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Kimberly
Girl #1: I’d totally teabag him! Wait, what’s the female equivalent of teabag?
Girls #2 & #3: Hmmm…
Queer #1: I dunno — what do you call it when someone dangles lunch meat in your face?
Queer #2: Roast beef curtains?
Girls: Ewww!
Queer #1: No, no, wait! It’s a cold cut swipe!
Everyone: Ewww!
–JFK
Overheard by: K to tha B
Mini-skirt on cell: Just because I had sex with you doesn't mean I gave you my phone number!
–52nd & Lexington
Brunette with a booty on her cell: You're going to be a whore this summer. (quick pause) Can you start by coming out here and whoring yourself?!
–Penn Station
Hot brunette on cell: Ohmigod. How does he do those backflips? He's like 6 feet tall and super built. He probably gets so much ass. Whatever, I would totally be his groupie.
–Midtown East
Overheard by: damn i'd be his groupie too
Bouncer to bouncer: The bible does say "Be fruitful and multiply." It doesn't say "with one person."
–West Village
Overheard by: Bible Fan
Chick: I'm not a whore, but I am not gonna miss out on a chance to fuck that bitch's boyfriend. Plus, she owes me like 30 bucks.
–L Train
Overheard by: Kelly
Suit on cell: I swear, I’m going to make her the sorriest crippled girl in New York.
–Avenue C
Hipster on iPhone: Hello? I’m sorry. I can’t hear you–I have an iPhone.
–6th & 27th
Hipster girl to out-of-town friend: Sorry about the smell, this area just recently gentrified.
–Orchard Street b/w Broome & Grand
Loud, drunk, British girl to boyfriend: We don’t know each other’s minds -we can’t read each other’s minds! So when you do something I don’t like and I tell you and then later you do something I don’t like and I tell you again… Well that’s two sorries in one day! And "sorry" is just a word, but you’re learning about me! About my mind.
–Broadway & Waverly
Overheard by: rpk
Woman on cell: Oh sorry, I have to go. Remember that woman that got pregnant by a bear? Yeah, I just ran into her.
–Astor Place
Dominican to friend: And just wait until I tell them all he’s Dominican… he’ll really be sorry then!
–5th Ave, near Empire State Building
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Girl #1: My friends all say I should hook up with him because then I can say that I hooked up with someone from Poland.
Girl #2: You mean Portland?
Girl #1: Oh, right, I always get those two mixed up!
–46th & 7th
Drunk girl: So I wouldn't ask you this if I were sober, but I just have to ask. When you…yunno…are you generally the…penetree, or the…penetrant?
Gay guy: Uhm, you mean, the penetrated or the penetrator?
Drunk girl, laughing: Oh, right. Well. Damn. I mean, gay sex is supposed to be better in France, right?
–Kittichai Restaurant
Overheard by: Brandy
Black receptionist: Carlos De Jesus George? Are you here?
Latino receptionist: It’s not pronounced ‘De Je-zus George,’ but ‘De He-sus Hor-he.’
Black receptionist: Excuse me? What are you saying? This clearly says ‘Carlos De Jesus George.
Latino receptionist: No mother would name their son Jesus. And besides, that’s not the correct pronunciation in Spanish.
Black receptionist: What? Oh, girl, you know I don’t speak those words.
–Doctor’s office, 15th & 1st
Guy #1: So, what's “emo”? Like gay?
Guy #2: Basically.
–Outside Soldier McGee Tavern
Overheard by: Jason
Queer: If a song starts with, ‘It’s Britney, bitch!’ you kind of expect it to be good!
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: Um, You do?
Girl: Why you call me a bitch? I’m Nigerian!
–NYU bus
Overheard by: sjhaughty
Thug on cell: You a bitch! You afraid to shower!
–42nd St
Overheard by: Brian Libido
Three-year-old WASP, entering room: Welcome to this bitch!
–Supercuts, St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: Leo
Kid running ahead of exhausted mom: Run, bitch! Run!
–Prince St & W Broadway
Woman: When I got into college I entered into a world of sausage.
Man: Uh…
Woman: Come on!
–D Train
Overheard by: pop pop
