Man: So how do you feel now you that you've been fired?
Woman: “Laid off.”
Man: Yeah, whatever you want to call it.
–Starbucks
Man: So how do you feel now you that you've been fired?
Woman: “Laid off.”
Man: Yeah, whatever you want to call it.
–Starbucks
Male black teen #1: You sound ign'ant.
Male black teen #2: I ain't ign'ant, you ign'ant!
Male black teen #1: You said “truesfully” and there ain't no “s's” in “trufully.”
Male black teen #2: I didn't say “truesfully,” I know there ain't no “s's” in “trufully.”
–Staten Island Mall
Overheard by: NewYorkLaw
Girl on cell: You have a mini what? Stalker? (pause) Do you mean "mini" like a little person? Or like only partial stalking?
–Park Ave & 77th St
Woman to friend: No wonder that guy is stalking you! You told him everywhere you were going!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: sarah
Suit on cell: Yeah, yeah, hold on a minute. I gotta cross the street to stalk this girl.
–Times Square
Overheard by: creeped out
Mother to daughter, indignantly: No, it's not stalking! It's called being resourceful.
–16th St & 9th Ave
Girl to friend: I think her name's Elizabeth.
Friend: My friend's name is Elizabeth! She's a twin.
Girl: Is she? What's that word for “identical”?
Friend: Yeah… “fraternal.”
Girl: Yeah, everyone is named Elizabeth.
–47th St & 3rd Ave
Guy on cell: There's a lot bruacracy in public social work…
–Eastern Parkway & New York Ave
Overheard by: jeff
Woman on phone: Her mother is a bird. Her whole family is a flock of birds. I cannot even say how ghetto she is. She said, "columinate." I said, what? You mean "a-coom-a-late?
–1 Train
Preppy on cell: What's your next class? Professional rioting?
–Fordham
Girl: This class is skewered. There are only three guys and like twenty girls. Damn!
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: Phil
Guy to girl on train: She's just like "huh, brutha." It's like, embedded in them. They were breaded that way.
–7 Train
Railway announcer: This is the train to Ronkonkoma, next stop Jamaica, Queens.
Little boy to dad: See, dad… I told you he said “yarmulke”!
–LIRR
Overheard by: Charlotte
Guy on cell: Well, I love you. Hit that little Jewish kid in the back of the head, and I love you.
–St. Mark's
Guy to girl: Yeah, yeah, totally. I love turning nouns into verbs.
–Grahm Ave & Conseleya
Overheard by: Minna
Girlfriend to boyfriend: I love it when you goat me.
–95th St & Broadway
Overheard by: John
Staples manager to coworker: I love these staples!
–Staples Store
Overheard by: venniblue
Guy to girlfriend: Reacharound equals love.
–11th St & 3rd Ave
Female suit: I don't think I have time for lunch.
Male suit: Let's do a quickie.
Female suit: Do you even know what that means?
Passerby suit, pumping arms: Go for it, guys!
–44th St & Vanderbilt
Overheard by: Hell Yeah
Woman #1: Ohmigod.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Ohmigod!
Woman #2: What? What?!
Woman #1: Why am I naked on twitter??!
Woman #2: You can be naked on that thing? Sign me up!
Woman #1: I'm gonna kill that prick!
Woman #2: (laughs)
Woman #1: What's so funny?!
Woman #2: They should call it “twatter.”
Woman #1: Shut up.
Woman #2: Tweets from your twat.
Woman #1: So you're not gonna take this seriously?
Woman #2: … Fodder from twatter.
–Dunkin' Donuts
MTA worker #1: I'm sick of trains… I think I might go back to the dump.
MTA worker #2 : Dump? Like trash and shit?
MTA worker #1: No, not dump like shit. Not like “taking a dump” as in “shit.”
MTA worker #2: Yeah, so “dump” like trash and shit.
MTA worker #1: There's no shit involved, man!
–Q Train
Overheard by: taylor
