Asian girl #1: Yeah, did you know that Hallmark just like, made up Valentine’s Day? Seriously, there really was no Saint Mark… I mean, Saint Nicholas.
Asian girl #2: Umm, Saint Nicholas was Christmas.
Asian girl #1: Well, whatever his name was. He’s really Hallmark.
–NYU
Overheard by: erin
Gay Asian #1: The guys here are really different from the guys I see in the East Village.
Gay Asian #2: Well, all the guys here have jobs.
Gay Asian #1: Oh… True.
–Vlada, Hell’s Kitchen
Asian guy to girlfriend: That’s the best part about being in a relationship.
White girlfriend: Sandwiches?
Asian guy: Always having an extra pair of hands.
–49th St Station
Overheard by: missalicious
Hot Asian chick to boyfriend, about former boyfriend: He actually told me he liked fucking me because of my “almond eyes.”
Boyfriend: Where do you find these guys?
Hot Asian chick: I know, right?
Boyfriend: I like fucking you because you come at least once a minute.
Hot Asian chick: Take me home now!
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: …can i borrow her
Asian boy: So I went on a date with this guy -and this has happened before- he asked me if I shave my arms! And I was like: “No… I’m Asian.”
White girl: Are Asians hairless?
–5 Mott Street
Overheard by: Laura B
Headline by: Toby
Runners-Up:
· “Asians Also Lack a Four-Chambered Heart.” – Matthew
· “Later He Asked Me If I’d Had Penis Reduction Surgery” – Jazz Musician
· “Racism Isn’t Waning – It’s Waxing” – Alchar Haven
· “What Do You Think We Are, Mammals?” – kew
· “Why Anime and Furries Just Don’t Mix!” – GeekGrrl
· “Yes, But We All Buy the Same Wigs” – Melissa
· “Yes, It Makes Us More Aerodynamic So We Breeze Through Those Math Classes.” – JohnnyB
Young man in small crowd: Honestly, the vaginas I’ve seen in real life are nowhere near as bad as the vaginas I’ve seen in med school.
–86th & Columbus
Overheard by: Stacey
Girl: I feel like the male anatomy is so much more straightforward. The vag is hard to master.
–Fordham University
20-something girl: If he’s gonna be such a whiny vagina about you being safe about your vagina, then you shouldn’t be sleeping with him anyways.
–NYU Dorm
Teenage boy, eating a sandwich: He said no mayonnaise. It tastes like a big vagina.
–63rd Drive & Queens Boulevard
Hobo: And then the woman just sucked it all into her vagina.
–44th & 7th
Overheard by: The One
Frantic Asian guy, running across the street in front of Worldwide Plaza: Yeah… Yeah… But whose vagina?"
–9th Ave & 50th St
Overheard by: tinyfoo
Chubby Asian #1: I’m making a headcheese.
Chubby Asian #2: What’s that?
Chubby Asian #1: Like a meat, with parts of other meats.
Chubby Asian #2: …So it’s not a cheese?
Chubby Asian #1: No.
Chubby Asian #2: Wow, gross.
–L Train
Michelle: Hey, I wanted to go first, what the hell! You always cut me!
Asian friend, playfully sarcastic: Haha, hey, relax there, tiger. Ohhh yeah, everything is all about Michelle! Did you hear that sir, it’s all about Michelle? Don’t mess with her!
Michelle: Haha, shut up!
[Thirty seconds later.]Bus driver, on intercom: Just so everyone is aware, it’s all about Michelle. Don’t mess with that one.
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Dude on cell: I’m okay with it. As long as nobody slaps me or calls me gay or spits on me. Those are my three things. As long as nobody does those three things.
–21st St & 8th Ave
Asian girl: You gave me the gay!
–C Train
Overheard by: Jordan
Female cop to male cop: You a queer? For real, you queer? You a queer? You a queer? Oh, I didn’t know that. Okay. [Nods.]
–C Train
Barnard girl to friends: I don’t think he’s gay, I just think he has problems having sex with women.
–Columbia University Steps
Overheard by: John Jay
Man to friend: See, I told you this was a gay neighborhood, look at all the women!
–Montague Street, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: glekapolis
Loudly homophobic guy: Gay! Gay! My ass hurts from watching that preview!
–AMC Theater, Times Square
Overheard by: Lo
White chick, examining bacteria plate: Aww, my bacteria are so cute. I have like pink ones!
Blondie: Lemme see. Ewwww… Is that what you colonized from your hand?
White chick: Yeah…?
Blondie: Ewww, you’re dirty, don’t touch me.
White chick: Fuck you, I go on the subway all the time.
Asian chick: Me too. Hey, I have some white colonies on my finger culture… Maybe I have some white in me after all.
White chick: And I have some yellow colonies! Together, we are a perfect rainbow of transcultural germs.
Asian chick: Awesome.
–Barnard Biology Lab
Overheard by: Vicksburg
