Queer #1: That Joey guy is so hot.
Queer #2: Joey the bottom?
Queer #1: Yeah…
–4th Street & 1st Avenue
Overheard by: Mike M.
Queer #1: That Joey guy is so hot.
Queer #2: Joey the bottom?
Queer #1: Yeah…
–4th Street & 1st Avenue
Overheard by: Mike M.
20-something girl #1: I need to go on a diet.
20-something girl #2: Why? You look fine.
20-something girl #1: Because that tranny over there has a dick and looks better in a dress than I do.
–Manhattan Ave & 110th St
Queer #1: Oh my god. I can’t believe you called that totally hot, beautiful bartender a ‘she’!
Queer #2, gasping: No way!
–LIRR
Overheard by: he-she
Woman to another: I mean, about the thing… he is ugly but at least he get it up!
–Abingdon Square Park
Man to friend: Ugly people aren't people!
–10th St & 5th Ave
Suit: Yeah, I couldn't deal with the paparazzi. I once saw a picture of Katie Holmes with a pimple, and now I think she's the ugliest person I ever saw.
–Governors Island
Overheard by: Natalie
Girl to guy friend: I cannot believe you volunteered me like that! I'm going to start volunteering you to people… unattractive people. Like Leroy*.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Michael O'Connor
Bus driver on packed bus: Okay, everybody, we need to reorganize the bus. Can all the good-looking people move to the back of the bus, and all the ugly-looking people move to the front? Thank you.
–M86 Bus
Overheard by: Michael
Suit #1: So how was working in the Atlanta office? Hook up with any girls there?
Suit #2: Man, every girl in that city who’s over 21 is either married or divorced. Lots of good-looking ones, though. But it’s like you think you’re in Barney’s and it’s really Salvation Army.
–Park & 48th
Teen boy #1: I got drunk for the first time last weekend.
Teen boy #2: Really?
Teen boy #1: Yeah, it felt so good! Every girl I saw looked really hot.
Teen boy #2: Yeah… That tends to happen.
–L Train
Nine-year-old girl: Mom, that kitten is so cute! Can we get a kitten?
Mother: Honey, I know it's cute, but we have to take care of the two cats we already have.
Nine-year-old girl: No, I know. I mean when they die.
–Veterinarian Waiting Room, Upper East Side
Overheard by: Ben A
Young daughter: Daddy, daddy! What's that?
Father: Umm…that's just grass, sweetie.
Young daughter: It's pretty!
–Brooklyn Botanic Garden
Fratboy: The cute Asian girl. You know how everyone has a nickname? That’s hers: the cute Asian girl. And she always smells so good!
–Joe’s Pizza, Carmine St.
Girl #1: We were late ’cause he was looking at himself. Just looking at himself. I go in, and he’s checking himself in the mirror, making faces, and I get all mad at him, and he’s like, ‘What?!’
Girl #2: He must be really into himself. Men don’t do that.
Girl #1: He is good-looking, though.
–6 Train
