Wednesday One-Liners Are Starting to Show

Aloof teen: So, other than getting robbed and coming back pregnant, how was it?

–27th & 6th

Overheard by: Seamus Diddy

Female cashier, looking over cover of Star magazine: Girl, Angelina is having twins?! I tell you what, that girl needs to get her some birth control pills -and you know why? Because she hot and if I was Brad Pitt I would keep knockin’ her up too.

–86th & 1st

Girl on cell: Ugh! I can’t believe she’s pregnant again! That makes futon baby number two!

–Forever 21, Union Square

Girl checking SMS, to friends: Oh shit…[Reads.] "Happy non mother’s day, pass this on to all your girlfriends and women you know who survived another year of not getting pregnant."

–Toys R Us Times Square

Overheard by: Non Father

Guy, chasing after pregnant woman in the fruit section: It’s not a boy? I swore you told me it was a boy! Honey! Come back!

–Whole Foods, Bowery

Overheard by: office peon

Posted on November 13, 2014
About Celebrities, Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Cashiers, Cell Phone, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compliments, Crime and Punishment, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, Sex, Store, Teens, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Violence, Weirdness, Whole Foods, Women, Words

For Some Reason, after That Game We Drifted Apart

Guy, as David Wright comes up to bat and stadium erupts with cheers: Oooh, all the girls want David Wright.
Girlfriend: He’s pretty good-looking… He’s a hottie.
Guy: I’d totally do him… Yep, I would fuck David Wright even if he wasn’t on the Mets.

–Shea Stadium

Overheard by: Moving a few rows back…

Posted on November 12, 2014
Beauty, Couples, Shea Stadium

HIs Whole Body’s a Treasure-Trail!

Hipster girl #1: I usually don’t mind, but this guy was like… I mean, basically you couldn’t tell if his shirt was on or off, he was that hairy!
Hipster girl #2: Yeah, I used to date a guy like that. You know those hair removal ads for men with the before and after pictures, where they basically take like the hairiest man that ever walked the earth? That was him. Chest, back, shoulders, ass… Covered.
Bear guy: Aw, come on. That’s just plain hot!

–Pink Pony, LES

Posted on November 8, 2014
Beauty, Clothing, Dating, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Hair, Hipsters, Lower East Side, Physical appearance, Queer guys, Restaurants & Cafes

Wednesday One-Liners Belch Diesel Fumes

Excited bus driver: Next stop, 6th Avenue! Herald Square! Vicky's secret! Something for everyone! Get off!! Get off!

–M16 Bus

Overheard by: nora!

Bus driver: Everyone who is exceedingly good-looking move to the back of the bus!
(people giggle but still not much room in front)
Bus driver: Well, it's good to know you're a modest bunch, but you gotta move back or I'm not moving this bus.

–Bus, Central Park West

Overheard by: passenger

Bus driver over sound system: Dis bus is out of service! Dis bus is out of service! People in da back get up, close the fucken back window, and leave!

–Bx9 Bus

Bus driver over intercom: Good morning, this is a friendly reminder that the holiday shopping season now begins the day after Halloween. Make sure to allot six hours extra travel time as the city gets rather hectic at this time.

–M23 Bus

Bus driver over intercom: Come on, move back, people. There's coffee and jelly donuts in the back of the bus.

–Crosstown Bus, 57th St

Overheard by: Flexy

Bus driver (calmly): Move to the back of the bus. I heard there is mad room in the back of the bus. Mad room. I got an e-mail up here that says there is mad room in the back. Can someone quantify how much is "mad" for me? Mad room in the back of the bus. Mad room. Mad room!

–Crowded Q 55 Bus

Overheard by: Matt

Bus driver: This is the Q44 express going to Jamaica. We are traveling along Main Street, next stop is 41st Avenue. For those of you that don't speak English: blah, blah, blah, blah…

–Bus, Flushing

Posted on November 6, 2014
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Bus Drivers, Central Park, Coffee, Directions, Food, Insults, Internet, Language Barrier, Laughter, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, On the Bus, Passengers, Physical appearance, Public Transportation, Time, Travel, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Words

Oh, Sorry–Didn’t Know You Were on the Phone

Black dude following girl: Hey man, check out that ass! Look at that ass! That’s some fine ass. Look at that ass.
Black chick being followed: (into her phone) Hold on. (turns to man) Nigga, go away!

–Broadway & Lafayette

Overheard by: Ivan

Posted on November 6, 2014
Ass, Beauty, Black People, Brooklyn, Compliments, Default, Etiquette, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, On Cell, Pick-up Lines

30 Years from a Good Insult

Hobo: Hey, can a po’ man get some money?
Tourist girls: No, sorry.
Hobo: Fine! None of y’all look like Farrah Fawcett anyways.

–L train

Posted on October 27, 2014
Beauty, Hobos, On the Subway, Tourists

And Almost As Stupid As Hot Aaron

Girl #1: I hooked up with Aaron on Friday. It was weird.
Girl #2: Hot Aaron or stupid Aaron?
Girl #1: Stupid Aaron.
Girl #2: Oh, my god, he is so hot.

–MAC Cosmetics, Spring Street

Posted on October 21, 2014
Beauty, Compliments, Default, Girls, Questions, Soho, Store, Weirdness

Which One's the “Smart” Friend? Show Your Work.

Girl #1: I am just not a fan of the Jonas Brothers.
Girl #2: I don't know, the one with cancer is pretty cute.
Girl #1: What? I don't think any of them have cancer…
Girl #2: Yeah, the youngest one.
Girl #1: He doesn't have cancer, he has diabetes.
Girl #2: Oh, right! Because if he had cancer, he wouldn't have all that hair.

–Washington Square Park