Scene girl: Can I call the cab this time?
Stoner boyfriend: No.
Scene girl: Why not?
Stoner boyfriend: Because every time you do, you get in and scream “is this Cash Cab?!” Bitch, you're never gonna meet Ben Bailey.
–Chelsea
Overheard by: HerDreamsWereCrushed
Obese girl, sweetly, to even bigger boyfriend: Honey, you're taking up two seats.
Boyfriend, very earnestly: Oh! Sorry, baby!
(he condenses his mass from three seats to two)
–7 Train
Drunk girl to hipster boyfriend: How come my hair always gets stuck in your mustache?!
Boy: I don't have a mustache.
Drunk girl: You know what I meant, boy! A beard! My hair always gets caught on it! Do you ever get food in there? Or coffee? Do you get a little sick if you sleep with a wet mustache? (pause) Oh, I'm just messing… (laughs at herself) but I hope you've been washing that thing with shampoo and conditioner every day!
–West Village
Girlfriend: You said you had never had anal sex before!
Boyfriend: I hadn't. It doesn't count if it goes all the way in.
Girlfriend: It totally counts. I don't even want to think of it going all the way in.
Boyfriend: I didn't even feel it!
Girlfriend: I still feel it!
–Astor Place
Guy on cell: Well, I love you. Hit that little Jewish kid in the back of the head, and I love you.
–St. Mark's
Guy to girl: Yeah, yeah, totally. I love turning nouns into verbs.
–Grahm Ave & Conseleya
Overheard by: Minna
Girlfriend to boyfriend: I love it when you goat me.
–95th St & Broadway
Overheard by: John
Staples manager to coworker: I love these staples!
–Staples Store
Overheard by: venniblue
Guy to girlfriend: Reacharound equals love.
–11th St & 3rd Ave
Teenage girl to boyfriend: I've seen so many people here. Where do they all live? I haven't seen any houses.
Boyfriend: I don't know.
–R Train, near Canal
Tourist to boyfriend: Why are there so many humans here?
–Times Square
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this n train is very crowded. There is a w train one minute behind this one with air conditioning, legroom, and color tv.
–N Train
Overheard by: Thinking about switching
Guy: Y'all can't crowd up here! I don't want to name any names, but there's a baby back there that just got stepped on.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Samantha Chastain
Girl walking up stairs, suddenly turning around: Oh, nuh-uh! Get your forehead out of my ass!
–F Train
Girl, eating chocolate Cadbury Creme Egg: Oh my god, you have to try this.
Boyfriend: What's inside?
Girl: The cum of the gods.
–71st St & Columbus
Guido to another: She actually shaves between sex and shit.
–Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Belladonna Wexhome
Middle-aged Guido: Nobody gives tricks any more, only treats. I remember when I was a kid. I used to get shaving cream in my face.
–78th St & West End
Overheard by: jess_stang
Guy coming out of Beeswax screening: I will not bow to the hegemony of the razor.
–BAM Cinemafest
Girl to friend and boyfriend: I definitely prefer a female gynecologist to a male one. Mine is a really old woman, and she's great! She just says to me, "I am shaving you." My lips are really big!
–E 7th St
Overheard by: Evan
Guy to boyfriend: I think you're boring. I'm bored.
–W 15th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Thompson
Woman on cell: I got so bored at work that I started talking to my mosquito bite! I told it to stop making me itch.
–58th St & 9th Ave
11-year-old boy to friends: I'm not ready for death. It's boring. All you do is fly around in the air.
–7 Train
Kid to family, looking at camels: I'm just gonna come right out and say it: 'dis is really fuckin' boring!
–Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: Tyler
