Hoochie: I thought you had a girlfriend! Do you love her?
Guy: She’s not here.
Hoochie: You’re just horny. Do you love her?
Guy: Are you horny?
Hoochie: I just had sex with three guys.
Guy: I love her.
–Bar, Brooklyn
Overheard by: J Intellect
Hoochie: I thought you had a girlfriend! Do you love her?
Guy: She’s not here.
Hoochie: You’re just horny. Do you love her?
Guy: Are you horny?
Hoochie: I just had sex with three guys.
Guy: I love her.
–Bar, Brooklyn
Overheard by: J Intellect
Sixth-grade boy #1: What’s my stripper name?
Sixth-grade boy #2: Sexy Frank.
Sixth-grade boy #3: No! The names have to have assonance!
Sixth-grade boy #2: My name is Horny Harry!
Sixth-grade boy #1: I’m Lubricant Liam!
–121 Lincoln Pl, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Anna
Cashier: Here’s your change. Have a good day.
Smoker: Matches.
Cashier: There’s no matches left, sorry.
Smoker: No matches? Without matches it’s not worth it.
–Rite-Aid, Bensonhurst
Instructor: Mr. Hispanic man, talk to me. How do you like touching?
Student: I love it.
Instructor: How about a man touching you?
Student: Even better.
–Brooklyn College classroom
Overheard by: dp
Guy #1 about four tiny, yappy poodles: Why they so loud?!
Guy #2: Yo, they got a Napoleon complex. Why you think you a thug?
–Eastern Pkwy & Underhill St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Michael O’Brien
Young teen girl: I've done cybersex so often I forgot how to type with two hands.
–A Train
Suit on cell: I have nothing to blog about. I have nothing to video blog about. Man, yesterday I had to force myself to tweet!
–Uptown 4 Train
Overheard by: cowgirly
Girl selling peaches to another: Yeah, my dad was so unsympathetic when I told him my computer crashed that I went straight to the Apple store and charged a new hard drive to his credit card. I was really proud of myself.
–Fort Greene Farmers Market
Overheard by: Morning Glory
Teenage girl to friend: I don't see why we're even here. We could see all this stuff on the internet for free.
–Metropolitan Museum
Overheard by: Derek
Girl on cell: So I asked my doorman if I brought anyone home with me last night and he said he didn’t know! I told him it’s his job to know!
–Outside 145th subway station
Hipster girl: Santa is a man whore!
–45th & 8th
College girl: And then we’re having what I thought was a nice one night stand, and then, he’s all like "what are you doing?"
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: silvver
Indian girl: I need to up my sex number. I either wanna sleep with a professor or a celebrity. (long pause) Wait! Professors are like celebrities!
–72nd and Amsterdam
Overheard by: Vincent
Teen girl to friend: … And then my mom said to me "don’t be a ho."
–Union Square
Overheard by: Lotte
Girl: She is such a fuckin’ slut. (Pause, then indignantly) How you gonna sleep with someone for four dollars?
–Bergen and Smith
Girl: So I’m saying… Would you murder my pussy?
Guy: Hell nah.
Girl: Why not?
Guy, laughing: I’ll end up in jail, ma.
Girl: What?
Guy: You can’t handle me, trust. My dick is deadly. It will kill you and your pussy.
–Brooklyn
College guy: These are the best dinosaurs I've eaten all day!
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center Campus
Ecstatic five-year-old girl: The dinosaurs! I can't wait to see the dinosaurs!
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Miss Guided
Hippie girl: Yeah, I don't know about the eyeballs, but the dinosaurs are great!
–39th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Natalie
Girl on stoop: Yo, man, I wish our dinosaurs could talk.
–St. Mark's & 3rd
Overheard by: Anna P.
Girl on cell: Because–you know what? Because I don't etch on my DVDs with pterodactyls!
–Court Street, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Danielle
Guy rooting through trash: If you were a dinosaur I'd be a dinosaur right beside you.
–W 80th & Amsterdam
