Elderly man with eyes bulging: They fried up the Pope in a side of vinegar!
Girl: Yeah, they do that sometimes.
–Henry St & Pineapple Walk
Elderly man with eyes bulging: They fried up the Pope in a side of vinegar!
Girl: Yeah, they do that sometimes.
–Henry St & Pineapple Walk
Man: So you’ve had problems with customers before, huh?
Cashier: Just one guy. It was 4th of July weekend and he was going on about sour cream. He was the only one in the store. He started hitting me because he said I charged the wrong price. I kept telling him that he had to leave.
Man: Wow!
Cashier: Yeah, he was obviously going senile. I mean, I’d never hit anyone over sour cream!
–Waldbaum’s, Bensonhurst
White girl #1: Shit, did you just see those mounted horses?
White girl #2: No fuckin’ way… I can’t believe they have them here.
White girl #1: Yeah… In Central Park is one thing, but not in ghetto Brooklyn.
White girl #2: Yeah, the last thing I expected to see here is horses on cops… [Pause] Did I just say ‘horses on cops’? I meant cops on horses.
White girl #1: Yeah, I don’t think there’s ever a need to see horses on cops. Well, except maybe in Jeremy’s bedroom.
–Crown Heights, Brooklyn
Overheard by: NancyCz
Five-year-old boy: I Superman! I Superman.
Six-year-old girl: Who cares!
Five-year-old boy: I Superman! I Superman!
–Flatbush & Atlantic, Brooklyn
Drunk college girl: I don’t mean to have sex with ugly guys but more often than not…
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Lo
Thuggish dude on cell: … You want to look in the mirror and be like ewww, while everyone else looks at you and is like, ooh, you know what I’m saying? When I wake up in the morning and I look in the mirror I think to myself shit, I am one ugly motherfucker, how the hell do I get so many bitches?
–7 Train
Overheard by: Andrea
Dumpy man waiting on line: I didn’t know court was a beauty contest for ugly women.
–Downtown NYC Courthouse
Man fighting with random woman on train: You’re as ugly as the tip of my dick!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Marlon B
Teenage girl to group of friends: Oh! Did I tell you *Jessica had her baby? Yeah, that shit ain’t ugly.
–Cobble Hill
Loud girl: Omigod I’m soooo pissed! Like, she’s so ugly. Much uglier than me. And you know on Halloween, if I hadn’t been bleeding from my vagina and puking in a bowl he would have hooked up with me instead.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: I was puking in a bowl when I heard this too
30’s artist-type woman #1: Ok, so he was a decade younger. But I have an excuse!
30’s artist-type woman #2: His penis excused his age?
30’s artist-type woman #1: Well, I think it grew a half inch per year since the day he was born.
–9th & Bedford, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Lauren
Hobo to another: Now the average American might not know about the economy and the depression. But they know about Budwieser. If they go to the bodega and there's no Budweiser, they know there's a problem.
–53rd Street E Station
Overheard by: SJG
Bald 30-something man: I believe in whiskey and little else.
–Lorimer & Union
Girl walking down the street: You took methamphetamines, I'm getting a Diet Coke!
–2nd Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: dazed and confused
Elated girl: This beer is really helping my canker sore.
–93rd & 2nd
Overheard by: brian w
Guy at bar: If the New York Public Library served Scotch, I would go there.
–Karl's Klipper, St George, Staten Island
Overheard by: Johnny Drongo
Train conductor: Next stop, Moshulo Parkway…and can someone get me a fucking soda! I'm in car 3! I need a damn soda!
–4 Train
Overheard by: B-Dizzle Yo
Guy: …so he digs stuff like Fahrenheit 451 and all–
Girl: “451”? Er, 9-11, you mean.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Cap’n MidNite
Latino guy on cell: Oh, she’s “tearing your heart out”? You’re a fucking faggot.
–Metropolitan & Union
Overheard by: Outmacked
Redhead: That woman is such a cunt.
Dressy guy: How come it’s okay for you to say ‘cunt,’ but if I say it you get all up in a snit?
Redhead: It’s like ‘nigger.’ You can only say it if you are one. [Eyes open wide, mouth gapes, mortified] Oh my god, I can’t believe I just said that.
–Nathan’s, Court St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Big Larry
