Brooklyn

Hobo to another: Now the average American might not know about the economy and the depression. But they know about Budwieser. If they go to the bodega and there's no Budweiser, they know there's a problem.

–53rd Street E Station

Overheard by: SJG

Bald 30-something man: I believe in whiskey and little else.

–Lorimer & Union

Girl walking down the street: You took methamphetamines, I'm getting a Diet Coke!

–2nd Ave & 11th St

Overheard by: dazed and confused

Elated girl: This beer is really helping my canker sore.

–93rd & 2nd

Overheard by: brian w

Guy at bar: If the New York Public Library served Scotch, I would go there.

–Karl's Klipper, St George, Staten Island

Overheard by: Johnny Drongo

Train conductor: Next stop, Moshulo Parkway…and can someone get me a fucking soda! I'm in car 3! I need a damn soda!

–4 Train

Overheard by: B-Dizzle Yo

Guy: …so he digs stuff like Fahrenheit 451 and all–
Girl: “451”? Er, 9-11, you mean.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Cap’n MidNite

Latino guy on cell: Oh, she’s “tearing your heart out”? You’re a fucking faggot.

–Metropolitan & Union

Overheard by: Outmacked

Redhead: That woman is such a cunt.
Dressy guy: How come it’s okay for you to say ‘cunt,’ but if I say it you get all up in a snit?
Redhead: It’s like ‘nigger.’ You can only say it if you are one. [Eyes open wide, mouth gapes, mortified] Oh my god, I can’t believe I just said that.

–Nathan’s, Court St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Big Larry

Daddy to daughter: You don't know what “no” means?
Daddy to wife: We have completely failed as parents.

–Fort Green

Toddler waiting for subway with mom: I need a snack.
Mother: You need a smack!

–Franklin Ave

Overheard by: Danielle

Hood rat #1: It said “Puerto Rican Barbie.”
Hood rat #2: What?
Hood rat #1: That's why I bought that shit. Cuz you know she think she Puerto Rican anyway. She black on the outside, Puerto Rican on the inside. That's why she stay hanging round with those Ricans!

–Jay St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: CAC Baby from The Glebe

Girl #1: It's going to suck if everyone there has a boring sense of humor.
Girl #2: So get them hyped up on cocaine, then everything is funny!
Girl #1: I will! Wait…how do *you* know?
Girl #2: At this point I would knock you on the side of the neck, steal your wallet, and run away.

–Main Street, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Michelle

Guido #1: So the fuckin’ Chink cop hands me the ticket, and I say, ‘Fuck you, ya fuckin’ Chink-ass cocksucker. Take this ticket and shove it up your Chink ass, you lo mein-suckin’, General Tso-fuckin’, slanty-eyed fuck.’
Guido #2: You said that to him?!
Guido #1: Yeah, after he drove away.

–Kings Plaza Diner, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Big Larry