Presenting the Fall Wednesday One-Liner Collection

Fashion photographer: That's a skirt? I thought it was a hat.

–Fashion Closet, Conde Nast Building

Indecisive woman to friend: I like this sweater in principle.

–Banana Republic, 86th & Broadway

Tween girl to mom: I'm not going to put my precious glove in the frickin' oven!

–Queens

Guy: I'm just saying, he doesn't dress like a bro.

–Astor Place

Irate girl wearing too much lipstick: That band really doesn't do him justice… I mean, I don't think he should have to wear a unitard. And she really shouldn't wear one, you know?

–6 Train

Overheard by: Wants to see him in unitard

Posted on April 7, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Clothing, Fashionistas, Friends, Girls, Guys, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Queens, Questions, Store, Street, Stupidity, Times Square, Tweens, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Also How Sandra Bullock and Jesse James Met

Crackhead trying to get pretty girl's attention: Woo gurrrl, where you bin? Walkin all fine. Hey shawty! Girl in dat pink sweater! I talkin' to you.
Pretty girl: It's fucking salmon. (walks into pet store to escape)
Crackhead: Wooo, ain'tcho fiesty! I'll buy you a puppy! Shoo!

–E 6th St

Posted on April 5, 2010
Clothing, Colors, Comebacks, Druggies, Girls, Insults, Pick-up Lines, Union Square and East Village

Unlike Everything Else.

Old man #1: Bill! Look here, $2 pants!
Old man #2: Oh, don't be stupid. They were probably made in China.

–Orchard St

Posted on April 2, 2010
Clothing, For Sale, Insults, Lower East Side, Money & Class, Old People, Stupidity

Not Being Inclined to Wait for the Seven-Year Itch

Girl #1: That looks like your wedding band.
Guy: Yeah, it could be mine.
Girl #2: What?
Guy: Two months after we got married, I threw my wedding band into the ocean.

–Brooklyn Flea Market

Overheard by: Ferris

Posted on March 23, 2010
Brooklyn, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Guys, Marriage

Apparently Anything Goes at Fordham

Student #1: I only have one sock on right now because the top of my right foot keeps itching like crazy.
Student #2, sarcastically: Ohmigod, you're so edgy!

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Posted on March 23, 2010
Body Parts, Clothing, Fordham, Health and Hygiene, Students, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

I Think Of It As Servicessorizing

Shop assistant #1: I'm going to get those black and gold trainers for community service. We have these lime green vests and they'll look great with the vest!
Shop assistant #2: You're accessorizing your community service outfit?

–Shoe Shop, Srping St & Broadway

Overheard by: Keziah

Posted on March 21, 2010
Clothing, Coworkers, Physical appearance, Soho, Store, Weirdness

Dial “M” for Wednesday One-Liner

Man with entourage: So I killed one just before I went to sleep. (entourage laughs) Yeah, and I left it on her ceiling as a warning.

–Bleecker & Broadway

Dude walking down street: And if I kill him, I'm certified to bring him back to life…

–Brooklyn

Old man to another: You know, I don't even give a shit if I die anymore!

–E 84th St

Girl to friend: Why would you put the poison in milk?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Michela

20-something guy: Fucking corduroy! I've gotta tell ya, I fucking love corduroy! I swear to god, I'd kill for corduroy!

–J.Crew Men's Store

Overheard by: Pedro

Posted on March 17, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Clothing, Death, Drinks, Friends, Girls, Guys, Insults, Laughter, Love, Men, Murder, Old People, One-liners, Questions, Store, Street, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Or I Should Stop Wearing Care Bear Tanktops

Suit #1: The girl I'm seeing, she likes to wear my shirts.
Suit #2: So?
Suit #1: I think she might be a lesbian.

–Park Place & Broadway

Overheard by: kathcom

Posted on March 15, 2010
Clothing, Gays and Lesbians, Suits, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

On the Plus Side, It Doubles As Spackle.

Skinny Indian girl: It's hot in here.
Chunky white girl: Too hot.
Skinny Indian girl: Well, at least it's better than too cold.
Chunky white girl: How so?
Skinny Indian girl: Well, now I can wear a t-shirt.
Chunky white girl: Yeah, but like, if it gets too hot we can't be whipping our clothes off. Nobody needs to see my pale shit.
Skinny Indian girl: Yeah, true.
Chunky white girl: Shit, girl. I have to buy my foundation at funeral homes.

–The Met

Posted on March 14, 2010
Clothing, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Heat, India Indians, Physical appearance, Race, Skinny People, The Met, White People

…Rodeo Clowns

Female 20-something: People used to get dressed up to go to the theater. Now people are here in jeans and UGGs.
Flouncy 20-something wearing cowboy boots: I used to wear UGGs, but I wasn't getting checked out by the kind of guys I want to get checked out by.

–Imperial Theater Line

Overheard by: Emily

Posted on March 12, 2010
Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Physical appearance, Theater, Theater & Dance, Wishes & desires

Clothing