Girl: Do you have any exciting plans for tonight?
Guy: No. Do you want to have a hot dog eating contest?
Girl: Not so much, since I’m a vegetarian.
Guy: I guess I win, then.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Andrea
Girl: Do you have any exciting plans for tonight?
Guy: No. Do you want to have a hot dog eating contest?
Girl: Not so much, since I’m a vegetarian.
Guy: I guess I win, then.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Andrea
Guido #1, in thick Staten Island accent: Yo, yo bro, I found this thing on Word, it makes you sound smarter.
Guido #2 in same accent: No way, bro! What is it?
Guido #1: I don't know, it's this thing, you click it and it gives you all these words that make you sound smarter.
Guido #2: What's it called?
Guido #1: Sin… Sinono… Sino-somethin, but I swear to god, bro; it makes you sound smarter.
–St John's University, Staten Island
Overheard by: Not from Staten Island
Guy: The thing about Cronenberg is that you have to appreciate him in
context to what he does…which is often unappreciable.
–Belmont Lounge, East 15th Street
Student, after professor played Chopin: Oh, miss, that was beautiful, can you play that again?
Professor: Sure.
Student: Oh, damn! You are nastier than I thought!
–Lehman College
Overheard by: emm
Guy: Ma’am, does the split pea with ham soup have wheat in it? I can’t have wheat. Do you know if it has wheat in it?
Soup Lady: Meat? It’s got ham, man! Says so on the sign!
Guy: No, wheat! Wheat?
Soup Lady: Oooh! Lemme check…HEY SAM, DOES THE SPLIT PEA HAVE WHEAT IN IT?
Sam: Meat?
Soup Lady: No, wheat!
Sam: Nah. It don’t have no wheat!
Guy: Okay, good. I’ll have a large cup of the split pea soup.
Soup Lady: Would you like a wheat roll with that?
–Juilliard cafeteria
Overheard by: H J W
Girl: …because I feel like we’re going out. It’s just that he won’t call me.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, E 14th St
Overheard by: MK
Homegirl to boyfriend: No, no, that’s not what I said, that’s what you heard.
–1st & Ave B
Overheard by: Mollena
Girl: In the last few years, every time I go away to Paris with someone, I end up breaking up with them.
–San Loco, 7th St & 2nd Ave
B&T girl #1 to B&T girl #2: If you lived in NYC, you’d totally find a boyfriend. You totally, totally would.
–LIRR to Penn Station
Overheard by: Pia Peanutbuttas
Sassy chick: I was having a glass of wine with him, and he didn’t have anything to say to me. So I licked his ear.
–Harlem
Overheard by: McN
Shrewd observer: That’s not dating. It’s called being on parole.
–West Building, Hunter College
Woman on cell: Well, I happen to like our Goddamn relationship, thank you very much!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Mike
CEO on phone: Fuck you! Just get me the things I need to make money.
–12th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jeremy
Older man wearing yarmulke, screaming into cell: Hi! I think I left a check for $19,000 in the armoire, can you check if its there? (pause) Oh, good! I was so worried! I will deposit it tomorrow! (pause) Yeah! I'm going over the bridge! (pause) Okay? I gotta go! Bye!
–Q Train
Frustrated girl on cell: I've only got a metro card and $20! I can't take the bus!
–85th & Columbus
Overheard by: Jesse D
Female student: My dad didn't pay two $200,000 for me to be a bartender.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Greg
Singing hobo: I work hard for the money, I work hard for the money, so you better work hard for me!
–W 4th St
Overheard by: DRC
Bursar office attendant: All we do is take yo money.
–Pratt Institute
Professor: Martin Luther King, Jr had women in his hotel room. He was running around on Coretta.
Student: Maybe, they were studying the bible.
(class laughs)
Professor: Well, she may have been calling out Jesus's name. But they sure as hell weren't reading the bible.
Slow girl, five minutes later: Oh, I get it. Ew!
–Baruch College
Overheard by: kteezy
Professor: Gods, these students. It’s like they just don’t get it, you tell them things and two minutes later they ask you the same thing. How did they get here? What are they going to major in? In "homelessness"?
–English Department, Hostos Community College
Well-dressed 20-something girl: Homeless people tell me to cheer up all the time!
–1 train
Rich woman #1, fixing rich woman #2’s scarf: [laughs] Oh my god, you look homeless!
–1 Train
Overheard by: sagehen
Well-dressed woman on cell: It’s just another Wednesday and I’m a bag lady.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Mother to her flock of children entering the train and then getting off: Run guys run, theres a homeless guy on that train! Run!
–F Train
Overheard by: yana
Guy #1: So they’re throwing a going away thing for him.
Guy #2: What, is he goin’ to jail or somethin’?
Guy #1: Nah, he just became a corrections officer.
–College of Staten Island
