Bodega guy: What do you want?
Redneck: Camel Lights. Hard pack.
Bodega guy: $6.95.
Redneck: What? You fuckin’ kiddin’ me? That’s higher than a giraffe’s pussy!
–106th & Columbus
Overheard by: Marc
Bodega guy: What do you want?
Redneck: Camel Lights. Hard pack.
Bodega guy: $6.95.
Redneck: What? You fuckin’ kiddin’ me? That’s higher than a giraffe’s pussy!
–106th & Columbus
Overheard by: Marc
Yuppie mom: We’re never riding the subway again.
Little girl: Why?
Yuppie mom: Everyone keeps hitting you on the head.
Little girl: So? I love the subway.
Yuppie mom: Well, the subway doesn’t love you.
–Times Square
Young physicist: So, dude, are you gonna be around in a few months?
Old physicist: I sure hope so.
–Museum of Natural History
Babysitter: Girl, you look good.
Friend: I know, right?
Babysitter: Well, not that good.
–Tot Lot, Victorian Flatbush
Skinny Spanish girl: That nigga was saying how he had me moaning and screaming, but I was like, "nigga, I'm just loud–that doesn't mean you're good!"
–Ft. Hamilton Parkway, Brooklyn
Overheard by: also loud
Ghetto chick to friend: Yo…in my country, it's illegal to not please your woman. You gotta fuck her till she begs you to stop.
–116th & 1st
Overheard by: DonnaRae
Man on phone: Yeah…I just fingerblasted her for like an hour. No big deal.
–E 4th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: intern2
Mom to teenage son: And I was like "sure, have sex in my bed, it never sees any."
–Mercer & W 3rd
Girl on cell: Oh no, he's back fucking his secretary now, so I'm like, completely free!
–East Village
20-something on cell, after loud graphic sex tale: And don't you be telling anyone! I don't like strangers knowing my business.
–Express Bus to Brooklyn
Thug #1: Yo, what about the dildo, man?
Thug #2: Man, I washed that shit, man! It’s in my fucking dishwasher!
Thug #1: Fly, son.
–33rd & 7th
Overheard by: QB
Jappy girl #1: Oh god! I just got a text from Jason. I want to write back something very biting and sarcastic. What about “shouldn't you be with your girlfriend right now?”
Jappy girl #2: (silent)
Jappy girl #1: Too much?
Jappy girl #2: I don't care.
–7th St & Ave A
Overheard by: gregor
Guy #1: Man, I really need to listen to more rap.
Guy #2: Dude, you don’t need to listen; you need to live it.
–Half King Bar, West 23rd Street
Chick #1: Going shopping Saturday, get some more gold,
Chick #2: That’s you. You getting more gold, you gettin more ice. When you was MC Broke Behind, you wasn’t talkin ’bout gettin’ shit.
–42nd St. between 8th & 9th
Overheard by: Ben Colombo
Thuggish 11-year-old #1, looking at in-flight magazine: That car is sweet.
Thuggish 11-year-old #2: Oh, it’s okay. I’m a BMW man myself.
–AirTran flight out of LaGuardia
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
