Little girl, as car alarm goes off when she passes by: What was that?
Older sister: Oh, don't worry, it was probably me.
Little girl: Psh! You're not that hot!
–26th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Lara
Little girl, as car alarm goes off when she passes by: What was that?
Older sister: Oh, don't worry, it was probably me.
Little girl: Psh! You're not that hot!
–26th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Lara
Husband on airplane: I would rather beg for mercy from Saddam Hussein than from you.
Wife: He's dead, keep your insults current.
(ten minutes after)
Husband: Bin Laden, that's who I meant.
Wife: (silence)
Husband: Have a Life Saver.
Wife, annoyed: You giving me a green one?
–Flight over JFK
Overheard by: Laurie Gwen Shapiro
Jock: So, maybe you and I could… have coffee or lunch some time?
Religious chick: Sorry, I only date guys who are saved.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: cindy hawkins
Lady on cell: She must have been humiliated by the parade of wives!
–Broadway & 72nd
Man to friend: Whenever I want to fuck my wife, she doesn't want to. But when I can't, she always wants to. I think she does it out of spite.
–12th St
(Elton John's Rocketman playing on radio) "I miss the Earth so much… I miss my wife…"
Barista: You don't miss your wife, Elton. You're gay!
–Small Coffee Shop, SoHo
Midget handing out fliers: Who likes comedy? (to man in striped shirt) Hey, do you like comedy? I like striped shirts, let's work something out here!
(man keeps walking)
Midget, yelling after him: No wonder your wife doesn't love you!
–Union Square Subway
30-something guy: Dude, that's so rude. Plus, she's going to be your wife soon, so you've got to stop calling her that.
–Hell's Kitchen
Son: Dad, can we buy Popsicles?
Dad: Why don’t we make our own at home?
Son: Yay! I want to make seltzer flavor!
Dad, sighing: Well, that would just be an ice cube.
–C-Town, Park Slope
Overheard by: Hiland
Man #1: Hey man! I thought you were doing 30 years?!
Man #2: That was 30 years!
–Hamilton Heights
Little boy to mom: What do you mean, I’ll appreciate them one day? I’ll like bras?
Little girl: My mom’s boyfriend likes bras, and he’s only twenty-two.
–Victoria’s Secret
Overheard by: Juliette
Teen girl: What time does TRL tape?
Street vendor: What time do you watch it?
Teen girl: 4 o’clock.
Street vendor: What does the L stand for?
–Times Square
Overheard by: mark manne
Guy: Have you read the book we’re going to be discussing tonight?
Jane Hyun: I wrote it.
–Starbucks, 29th & Park
