Police officer #1: They really shouldn't let elderly people in this elevator. It's so hot and there's no air circulation, people pass out in here!
Police officer #2: Well, maybe they should just not go on the elevator. (they laugh)
Police officer #1: But seriously, I had to give three old ladies mouth-to-mouth.
Police officer #2: Well, there's a first time for everything.
–168th St
Climber girl, pointing at friend's shoulder: I can't do that. Look at those biceps…
Friend: Those aren't biceps. Those are deltoids. Aren't you going to nursing school?
–Brooklyn Boulders
Security guard: Oh, man, thank god for anti-depressants and alcohol! Nothing like Jack Daniels to get you through the day.
–The Met
Building security guard to mailman: Don't you think tv saved the world? Say you've got 10, 12, 14, 16 kids . . .
–William & Beekman
NYU security guard to long line of kids: A'ight kids, e-z passes out. Put your IDs in the air and wave them like you just don't care!
–College of Arts and Science, Washington Square Park
Security man: No photos in Tim Burton! No pictures, no photos! Tell a friend, tell a neighbor, tell someone you don't like!
–Tim Burton Exhibit, MoMA
Security guard: Have a nice day… Now get the hell out of here.
–JFK Airport
Ratty old white man: I don't owe you nothin'.
Dirty old black woman: You owe me a solid two hundred.
Ratty old white man: A solid dick in the ass, maybe.
–Central Park
Overheard by: DKF
Little Asian boy, reading sign: “Asian mammals”
Asian boy's father: That's you, Audrey!
–American Museum of Natural History
Pretty girl: My boyfriend thinks it's cool that I have so many gay guy friends, because they are guys who want to talk to me regardless of if I'm pretty or not.
Gay guy: Honey, we only talk to you because you're pretty.
–42nd & 7th
30-something woman: Okay, I've changed my mind…
Uninterested-looking husband: Thank god… Does the new one works?
–Timer Square
Overheard by: Shoaib
Girl: Happy 4th of July!
Boyfriend: Why are you so happy about it? You're not American.
Girl: I am too, I was born here!
Boyfriend: I'm waaaay more American than you.
Girl: What, you think Puerto Ricans came over on the Mayflower?
–Union Market, Park Slope
Bouncer, looking at photo ID skeptically: I don't think this is…
Impatient cute girl: Look, it's me, okay? It's me.
Bouncer: I'm not sure.
Impatient cute girl: I used to be ugly, okay? I've gotten over it; so should you.
–Lotus Club
Old lady, after being pushed by teenage girl: You jerk!
Teenage girl: Well, I really hope you die, like, tomorrow.
–Port Authority
