Male #1: That skank from accounting has a nice outfit on today.
Male #2: Does she have a bag over her head?
–53rd St & Park Ave
Male #1: That skank from accounting has a nice outfit on today.
Male #2: Does she have a bag over her head?
–53rd St & Park Ave
Irritated tourist mother to baffled seven-year-old daughter: Your father is such a fuckin' dickwad! And let me tell you–he wasn't even inspired the night we made you.
–Times Square
Overheard by: tinyfoo
Guy on cell: I haven't talked to my dad in over three years, and this morning he friended me on Facebook.
–1st Ave & 89th Street
Overheard by: Citats
Guy on cell: Well, I wouldn't say I have the best relationship with my father, no. Umm… Well, for example, if he answers the phone when I call the house he says "Oh. Hey, failure."
–Union Square
Overheard by: Olivia
Woman on cell to friend: Uh-huh girl, I brought William to his donors' house and he didn't want to watch him. I said "William, William, say goodbye to your donor because he don't wanna watch you today."
–Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Upper East Side girl at brunch with girlfriends: I need to find a new apartment because when I do the walk of shame I keep running into my dad.
–80th St & 2nd Ave
Teenage girl: I'm so happy! Nick* friended me on Facebook!
Teenage boy: That's because he was high.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Woman on cell: Ugh, no I can't. I've been at work, I'm totally wasted.
–Outside Penn Station
Whiny American Apparel employee to new recruit: You're not allowed to chew gum on the floor, you can't wear UGGs to work… You have to be 100% American Apparel.
–Downtown F Train
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Subway musician to dude walking by with guitar on his back: Get a real job! (pause) I always wanted to say that to someone.
–S Train
Female suit to make suit: So, is your work still sticky like mine?
–Port Authority
Overheard by: quiet commuter
Hobo asking for change to woman entering bodega: How was your day, ma'am?
Woman entering bodega: Miserable.
–74th St & Columbus Ave
Overheard by: Maia
Asian girlfriend, yelling: Get out of my store! You always make customers angry!
Asian boyfriend, yelling back: You are the professor of psycho!
–Bodega, Upper West Side
Woman: Fridays in publishing are half days. You get out at noon.
Man, seriously: Well, publishing's a joke.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Cass
Big guy #1: Naw, man I'm straight as a plate!
Big guy #2: A bumpy plate!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Taylor
Girl: You know, I really appreciate that you're the only guy friend I have that never tried to hit on me.
Guy: Don't give me too much credit, I just don't think you're hot.
–Union & 7th, Brooklyn
Overheard by: ra
Frustrated hobo: I don't know where y'all are from, but where I come from people acknowledge each other.
Suit: We're from New York.
–S Train
