Comebacks

Are You Ready to Accept Wednesday As Your Personal One-Liner?

Crazy preacher man: Look up! You see that ball in the sky? It's not the sun. It's hell!

–Times Square

Subway preacher: Someone is gonna drive your car to your funeral, wearing your bling bling.

–Downtown A Train

Street bible pusher: Don't wait for the asteroids to rain down on you! Asteroids are heading this way now!

–6th Ave & 32nd St

Random crazy dude: Repent, all ye sinners! Get your ass to Genesis!

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: LiD

Street preacher handing out bible verses: Jesus saves! Jesus saves! (to suit walking by) Not you! There's nothing good about you!

–8th Ave below 23rd St

It's a Cruel, Cruel Mid-century Modern Dystopia!

Older woman, examining furniture on sidewalk: Look at this! This is a nice art deco bureau.
Older man: Well, Elaine, this is not a nice art deco world!

–Carroll St., Park Slope

Overheard by: Holly Martins

Jessica Was Only Halfway Through Her Etiquette Guide

Very fat man in suit: Excuse me, miss, could you move your bag so I could sit in that seat?
Thin girl: With all due respect, sir, even if I did move this bag, there's no way your fat ass will fit here.

–Downtown 1 Train

Overheard by: thinks he should try Weight Watchers

Headline by: JohnAustin

Runners-Up:
· “”Let Me Rephrase. Excuse Me, BITCH…”” – Paul Tabachneck
· “New Yorkers: Keeping It Real Since 1886” – Nicole
· “She’ll Be His First Target When He Becomes a Serial Killer” – Muse on the Loose
· “She’ll Gain 200 Pounds When She Gets Pregnant” – Vanessa
· “Southwest Airlines Has Already Made This Point” – Michellinator
· “Under a Fat Man, Nobody Can Hear You Scream” – Trey Jackson
· “Weigh Watchers Has a New Recruiting Campaign Called “Honesty”” – Lauren

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Just Like I Sensed When You Turned That “Douchebag” Corner

NYU college grad #1: Yeah, makes you think about the future.
NYU college grad #2: Don't worry. We know each other pretty well so I'll sense if you're turning into a prick.

–Bobst Library, NYU

…But Good One.

Blind man: Alright, man, I'll see ya tomorrow.
Friend: You won't see nothing, you're blind!
Blind man: Shut up!

–23rd St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Amanda

My Dealer Says He's Creating Brand Identity

Asian woman to large black man holding pink bag: I think it's funny that a large black man is holding a little pink bag.
Black man: It's where I keep my drugs.

–Downtown 1

That's Exactly What My Plastic Surgeon Said!

Girl to friend: Oh my god, your boobs have gotten so big!
Friend: Thanks!
Girl: Yeah, it's like now no one has to even look at your face.

–6 Train

“Uh-Oh, SpaghettiOs!”– the NYC Version

Woman: Open up my pants, and what do you find?
Man: Bing-bong, it's chlamydia!

–E Train

Overheard by: HappyCamper

Even His Mistress Doesn't Put Out!

Female suit: Every time he answers his phone it's with his business greeting. Like, it's your wife, dude, just say hi! God, I hate him.
Gay suit: Yeah, it's like she's the only person who thinks you're important, anyway!

–5th Ave & 55th St

Overheard by: CollegiateCutie

Human Rights Come First, Pal

PETA representative: Excuse me, ma'am, do you have a minute for animal rights?
NYU JAP: I'm wearing leather boots. Do I look like I give a shit about animal rights?
Panhandler: (applauds)
NYU JAP: (gives panhandler a quarter)

–8th & University

Overheard by: byron

© 2026 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist