Have You Ever Faked a Wednesday One-Liner?

Guy on cell: We get a little crazy wearing real pants. If we go to the store or something, we'll find ourselves bickering because we're wearing real pants.

–Washington Square Park

Traffic cop, motioning people to move quicker to clear the intersection: C'mon, people! They're real cars, they hit real hard!

–Broadway & Houston

Incredulous 30-something to tourist parents, during intermission of The Lion King: Well, I'm just really disappointed. I thought there were going to be real lions.

–Minskoff Theater

Overheard by: Not at the Circus

Lady in glasses on cell: Being naked is being real.

–West Broadway & Thomas St

Overheard by: Alex S.

Posted on January 13, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Cars and Driving, Clothing, Cops, Crazy, Guys, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Physical appearance, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Theater, Theater & Dance, Tourists, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Your Editors Are Not Weirdos

Girl: It must suck to be crazy.
Guy: Yeah, I work at the library, and sometimes we get weirdos watching porn.
Girl: No way, that's depressing!
Guy: Actually it's really funny.

–Port Authority

Overheard by: Diana

Posted on January 1, 2010
Crazy, Girls, Guys, Porn, Port Authority

But Straightjacket Bridal Gowns Are So Hot This Year

Very loud woman: He don't wanna marry me, I'm crazy!
Woman sitting next: Ha ha… (then quietly) I know.

–Penn Station

Posted on December 28, 2009
Comebacks, Crazy, Laughter, Marriage, Penn Station, Wishes & desires, Women

The SATs Get Worse Every Year

Skinny kid #1: Man, she owned me. It was crazy. There were handcuffs and blood all around. It was crazy!
Skinny kid #2: Wait… What? What are you talking about?

–Elizabeth & Houston

Overheard by: A little worried about this

Posted on December 19, 2009
Blood & bleeding, Crazy, Kids, Lower East Side, Skinny People, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Bring Something Unique to the Table

Guy: I hope you got a fuckin' Dixie Cup, 'cause that's what you're gonna need to hold it!

–42nd & 5th

Middle aged suit, to no one in particular: Spoon! Spoooon! Spooooon!

–Au Bon Pain, Broad St

Overheard by: Sarah Booz

Young guy with backpack to young wife: Teacup, teacup, teacup, teacup, teacup.

–Sheridan Square

Crazy hobo on subway: Hey you! Did you take my spoon? I know you took my spoon! Why would you do that to a guy?

–Uptown 3 Train

Overheard by: Scared British Tourist

Indignant yuppie: I wanted to stab her with a fork! It's a good thing we were at a sushi restaurant.

–69th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on December 16, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Assholes, Couples, Crazies, Crazy, Drinks, Ethnic Food, Guys, Hobos, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Stab, Strangers, Street, Suits, Thievery, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Yuppies

But Apparently You're Not Allowed to Talk to the Judge That Way?

Guy #1: And then I said, “bitch, I speak crazy too!”
Guy #2: Damn right!

–42nd St

Overheard by: Doesn't speak crazy

Posted on December 4, 2009
Comebacks, Crazy, Guys, Insults, Languages, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen

Tracy Chapman's Been Saying That Since 1988

Bag lady to white guy whistling “When the Saints Go Marching In”: Damn, nigger, that's my jam!
Guy: I'm… Ummm… sorry?
Bag lady: Yeah? Fuck you too!
(guy and girl walk away)
Bag lady: Shit, I gotta get outta this town and get my own place!

–L Train

Overheard by: The Music Man

Posted on November 7, 2009
Bag ladies, Crazy, Girls, Guys, Insults, On the Subway, Singing, White People

Which Is Why I Don't Return Susan Sarandon's Calls

White guy: So Lauren is coming with us on the trip.
Korean guy: Lauren? She's got the crazy eyes!
White guy: Crazy eyes?
Korean guy: Yeah, you can't trust a girl with the crazy eyes.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Sherlock N Holmes

Posted on September 19, 2009
Crazy, Koreans, Travel, Union Square and East Village, White People

Its Diversity Is Built In

Crazy lady: Excuse me, excuse me, white faced nigga bitch?
White girl: What?
Crazy lady: What? You ain't never seen a zebra?

–Rockaway Park

Posted on September 18, 2009
Animals & Nature, Crazies, Crazy, Girls, Insults, Queens, Race, Weirdness, White People, Women

Are You Ready to Accept Wednesday As Your Personal One-Liner?

Crazy preacher man: Look up! You see that ball in the sky? It's not the sun. It's hell!

–Times Square

Subway preacher: Someone is gonna drive your car to your funeral, wearing your bling bling.

–Downtown A Train

Street bible pusher: Don't wait for the asteroids to rain down on you! Asteroids are heading this way now!

–6th Ave & 32nd St

Random crazy dude: Repent, all ye sinners! Get your ass to Genesis!

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: LiD

Street preacher handing out bible verses: Jesus saves! Jesus saves! (to suit walking by) Not you! There's nothing good about you!

–8th Ave below 23rd St

Posted on August 12, 2009
Accidents, All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Cars and Driving, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Christianity, Comebacks, Crazies, Crazy, Death, Fashion, God Squad, Jesus, On the Subway, One-liners, Preachers, Questions, Religion, Satan, Street, Suits, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness