African American middle-aged lady #1: So my neighbor said they are moving to Pennsylvania.
African American middle-aged lady #2: Yeah, I know people are moving there. It's to avoid the criminal element.
African American middle-aged lady #1: They are the criminal element!
–M1 Bus
Skinny Spanish girl: That nigga was saying how he had me moaning and screaming, but I was like, "nigga, I'm just loud–that doesn't mean you're good!"
–Ft. Hamilton Parkway, Brooklyn
Overheard by: also loud
Ghetto chick to friend: Yo…in my country, it's illegal to not please your woman. You gotta fuck her till she begs you to stop.
–116th & 1st
Overheard by: DonnaRae
Man on phone: Yeah…I just fingerblasted her for like an hour. No big deal.
–E 4th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: intern2
Mom to teenage son: And I was like "sure, have sex in my bed, it never sees any."
–Mercer & W 3rd
Girl on cell: Oh no, he's back fucking his secretary now, so I'm like, completely free!
–East Village
20-something on cell, after loud graphic sex tale: And don't you be telling anyone! I don't like strangers knowing my business.
–Express Bus to Brooklyn
Drunk guy #1: Let’s start the East Village Fight Club.
Drunk guy #2: I’m in.
Drunk guy #1: The only rule of this particular fight club is you have to let your victim know you are beating the crap out of them for being too hip.
–7B, Avenue B
Teen ghetto chick: How many niggas was they? Like twelve? Do not tell James this shit, do not, ’cause he will be all ovah their asses and after he beat up the Snapple man and got arrested, he needs to stay away from that shit.
–Downtown A train, 145th st
Overheard by: brainygirl
Girl #1: I am so wasted. I got molested by some Mexican at this sleepover party thing.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Yeah, I woke up and everyone was fighting cause he touched my boobs. I think there’s some law saying that you can’t molest someone while they’re sleeping.
Girl #2: Actually, I think there’s a law saying you can’t molest someone, period.
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: if walls had ears
Jamaican: She was crazy, mon! She went right up to him and scratched out his mothafuckin’ eyes, mon. Just scratched them right out.
Cop: No way. Really?
Jamaican: That’s what I’m saying, mon! Dude didn’t have no more eyes, mon! His mothafuckin’ eyes was gone! He be walking around blind and shit!
Cop: Wow.
–44th & Madison
Overheard by: Doll
A black man and black woman sitting on a bench talking. A white guy walks by and the black man screams out: Hey, don’t I know you? Hey! Don’t I know you?
White guy: Naw, you don’t know me.
Black guy: Sure I do.
White guy: Oh yeah? How do you know me?
Black guy: Didn’t you arrest me once?
–136th & St. Nicholas
(teen comes onto train and does the whole spiel about selling M&Ms for his school, walks up and down the car, no one buys anything)
Teen: I'm also selling weed.
Guy: Really?
Teen: No. But I should go back to dealing, this shit doesn't pay.
–A Train
Overheard by: Graham Davis
Witness #1: Damn, he slapped the shit out of her.
Witness #2: Use your phone and call the cops.
Witness #1: Hell no. You saw what he just did to his girl — imagine what he would do to me!
–Flatbush area
Overheard by: Damion
Man: How do you get suspended on the first day of school in first grade?
–Lobby, Madison & 27th
