Guy: Yo, it’s not like a religion or nothin’. More like a nation, really. I’m tellin’ you, we got our own rules. We respect each other.
Girl #1: Are you sure it’s not a religion?
Guy: Nah. Like for example, if some guy tried to stab my friend, I’d jump in and take that blade for him. I’d do that for him.
Girl #2: That’s respect.
–B Train
Overheard by: Dominic
His Baby’s Momma: He don’t pay child support. He don’t ever see her. That’s it! I’m calling his fucking parole officer!
–West Village
Girl #1: His name is Alan Golder?
Girl #2: Yes, he was on America’s Most Wanted and Unsolved Mysteries. They call him the ‘Dinnertime Bandit’.
Girl #1: What does he steal?
Girl #2: High-class jewelry. Bvlgari, Tiffany, DeBeers.
Girl #1: Geez, talking about stealing the family jewels.
–Centro-Fly Nightclub, West 21st Street
Overheard by: Peter G
A young woman wearing fairy wings, a tiara, and carrying noisemakers, is on her cell phone.
Twit: No, I’m not going to get arrested, I have to work later.
–RNC Protest Route
Protestor: I really want to get arrested. What do you think I should do?
–After a protest outside Stuyvesant Church, East Village
Automated announcement: Bus operators are protected by New York state law. Assaulting a bus operator is a felony.
Guy sitting behind bus operator, loud: Hooray!
Bus operator: Scaring me is a misdemeanor.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Robert
Business casual 30-something #1: What is this, a halfway house?
Business casual 30-something #2: No, man, that's Chipotle.
–St. Mark's
Mother to four-year-old making loud, weird noises in stroller: Will you shut up? See… That's why you don't have any friends.
–Supermarket, Astoria, Queens
Overheard by: George O.
Woman on cell: She put my friendship on the line for a Chanel bag! (pause) So I guess I'm worth like, $600 dollars.
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Overheard by: Kade
Angry woman to man: You had to fuck my friend?! You couldn't think of a better place to put your dick?
–Elevator, 75 Wall St
Overheard by: Jonathan
Seated guy to standing woman: I was out drinking with a friend. Well, less of a friend and more my parole officer…
–L Train
Overheard by: Bradburnside
Suit to woman: I don't believe in friends, ya know?
–22nd & 6th
Overheard by: Edyna
20-something girl: I feel sorta guilty for illegally downloading "We Are the World." What's that Haiti number? I should text them some money to clear my conscience.
–LIRR
Middle aged guy to female colleague: It's really good and all, but it's only after listening to the lyrics that I got a little worried. I mean all she kept saying was "I want your disease, I want your disease." What is that?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Kishan
FedEx guy: I'm looking for Phil Harmonic. He needs to sign for this.
–Avery Fisher Hall, Lincoln Center Plaza
Overheard by: Rob
Loud Angelina Jolie wannabe watching band: I love this band, their music is like making love… Am I right?
–Terminal 5
Overheard by: Dani Cakes
Guy with guitar to naive teens: Yeah, music is the only way we can fight our oppressive, totalitarian government.
–City College
Overheard by: Stephen
Gay hipster #1: So wait, who is Natalee Holloway?
Gay hipster #2: That's a dumber question than the time you asked for some Chinese yen.
–N Train
Overheard by: Melissa
