“There's No Wednesday One-Linering in Baseball!”

Dad to whiny three-year-old daughter: And now you're going to try and manipulate me by crying.

–186th St & Ft. Washington Ave

Girl to friends: That's just the way the world is. You don't see me cryin' whenever someone calls me a fat bitch or a short bitch or an ugly bitch…

–23rd & 8th

15-year-old boy: Yo, I'd cry if that happened to me, but I'm just sensitive like that.

–A Train

Overheard by: pop pop

Girl: And then you know I take out my yo-yo and start dancing. And then you know I'm multi-tasking! I'm yo-yoing, dancing and crying all at the same time!

–LaGuardia High School

Woman on cell: Alex, stop crying. Stop crying. What about the breadsticks, were there at least breadsticks?

–34th & 6th

Posted on September 23, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Crying, Dads, Dancing, Family Ties, Fast Times at New York High, Food, Friends, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Insults, Kids, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Physical appearance, Questions, Should've Used a Condom, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Just Wait ‘Til We Get to the Fungus Unit and I Give You All Lapdances!

HS teacher with PhD, looking in stereo microscope at spores: Oh no, you won’t be able to see the hermaphrodites fully, they’re not sexually mature yet. [Dances around.]Student: Umm… Okay.
HS teacher with PhD, clapping hands: What you’ve got there is some sexually frustrated spores [keeps dancing, moves to next station, fiddles around with knobs] Ooh, ooh, your spores haven’t come yet, but they’ll look like mittens when they do.
[Student bursts into muffled laughing.]HS teacher with PhD: I know, aren’t spores fascinating? Are you laughing at my dancing?… Because biology just gets me so excited!

–Notre Dame Academy H.S., Staten Island

Posted on September 15, 2014
Dancing, Default, Education, Laughter, Questions, School, School and studying, Science, Sex, Staten Island, Students, Teachers/Professors, Weirdness

Date Much?

Barnard girl: Yeah, so I'm minoring in African dance…
Guy: Oh.
Barnard girl: And homemaking. You know, knitting an crocheting and stuff…
Guy: Ohh…
Barnard girl: But my major is man-hating. Hardcore man-hating.
Guy: (silence)
Barnard girl: Just kidding. Math. I'm majoring in math.

–Starbucks, 113th & Broadway

Posted on September 11, 2014
Columbia University, Dancing, Education, Girls, Guys, Lies, School and studying, Starbucks, Students, Weirdness

Full Metal Tuxedo Jacket

Arab man: Did you dance at your wedding?
Marine: I prefer not to think back at that point in my life.

–Casa Bella, Mulberry St.

Posted on July 10, 2014
Chinatown, Dancing, Foreigners, Lower Manhattan, Marriage, Restaurants & Cafes

Wednesday One-Liners Have at Least One Marketable Skill

Pragmatist: I figure if I don’t get a job in publishing, I’ll become a video vixen.

–Dunkin’ Donuts, Ditmars Blvd, Astoria

Overheard by: Christine

Skank: No way! I am not one of those girls. I am not a video girl…I am a dancer!

–34th & 8th

Overheard by: Skye

Ditz: Supposably [sic], she’s going to be dancing in some Beyonce video. She’s so stupid.

–54th St between 9th & 10th

Media scholar: Well it’s different when the girl getting fucked in the video is the same age as you. I mean, that’s great when you’re 15.

–20th & 8th

Posted on December 2, 2012
A-List, About Celebrities, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Celebrities, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dancing, Jobs & Careers, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, People, Places, Pop Culture, Queens, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, TV

In Fairness, Jennifer Beals Still Looks Great

Mom to children: You guys look like dancers!
Little girl #1: Yeah!
Little girl #2: Yeah! Like flash dancers!
Mom: What are flash dancers?
Little girl #1: They take of their clothes and flash people!
Little girl #2: Yeah!

–Whole Foods, Bowery

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Posted on January 23, 2011
Compare/Contrast, Dancing, Kids, Moms, Weirdness, Whole Foods

If We've Learned Nothing Else from Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, It's That.

Floozy #1, at fancy restaurant: I don't know if I can date him. Some of his dance moves were just not what I would call “heterosexual.”
Floozy #2: Yeeeeah, but it's really hard to dance heterosexually to house music.

–Monkey Bar, Midtown East

Posted on October 22, 2010
Biotechs, Dancing, Dating, Gays and Lesbians, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, Restaurants & Cafes, Sexuality

Frenemy: Defined

Cute girl: Let's go somewhere tonight where we can dance.
Prettier friend: How 'bout a gay club?
Cute girl: Ugh, no! You always want to go to gay clubs! I want to meet cute straight guys. You have a boyfriend but I have to go places where I can meet guys who are actually interested in me. So can we please just once go to a straight club? I'd like to not be invisible.
Prettier friend: Yeah, except when you stand next to me you'll be invisible anyway.

–Cafeteria, Chelsea

Overheard by: Aghast

Posted on July 18, 2010
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dancing, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Physical appearance, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Sexuality, Wishes & desires

Remember the Hippo Ballerinas from Fantasia?

Little boy looking at a poster for “dance your a$$ off”: That guy is fat, she is fat, they are all fat.
Boy's friend: They are all very fat.
Babysitter: Hey, that isn't nice.
Little boy: But they are fat.

–1 Train

Overheard by: UWSider

Posted on July 11, 2010
Dancing, Diet/Weight, Friends, Girls, Kids, On the Subway, Physical appearance

Hold Up– You Guys Went to a Billy Joel Concert?

Drunk guy: I summon all the single ladies to my personal sleeping quarters. Somebody come up here and kiss me! I'm an outstanding kisser and an excellent swing dancer! Girls, boys, hermaphrodites, I don't care!
Drunk guy's friend: If you think this is bad, you should've seen him at the Billy Joel concert… He peed on my foot.
Drunk guy: Only because you were wearing sandals!

–Citi Field Stadium

Posted on June 11, 2010
Dancing, Drunks, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Music, Offers and requests, Pee, Physical appearance, Pick-up Lines, Queens, Shoes

Dancing