Drunk guy to cop with nightstick: Ya' know what, you all should get like lightsabers and shit.
Cop: That would be fun.
Drunk guy: Yeah, I'd never fuck with you guys again.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: jimmy
Drunk guy to cop with nightstick: Ya' know what, you all should get like lightsabers and shit.
Cop: That would be fun.
Drunk guy: Yeah, I'd never fuck with you guys again.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: jimmy
Elderly woman sipping wine: Three girls and one guy? Sounds like a good time!
–Queens
Overheard by: amused cashier
Dude on cell: Hey bro, whatcha doing? Oh, yeah? What about your friend, does he like doing that? Does he like it a lot? Do you think I can come over? Well, then we can all do that together, a lot. (sees people looking at him) I'll talk to you later, bro.
–Church St Post Office
Overheard by: deshaunicus
Serious girl: And then they asked for a three-way, but a tasteful one.
–15th St & 5th Ave
Middle aged woman to friend: I just got this bike seat but I have to return it. I was riding around on it yesterday and when I woke up this morning, I felt like I'd been gang-banged by the Pittsburgh Steelers.
–Bike Shop, 12th St & Ave B
20-something chick: I am *so* over threesomes. There's just too much going on!
–Weight Room, Coles Gym
Overheard by: M.F.
White chick in sundress: I'm too naive for their kind of orgies.
–Dallas BBQ, 165th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Drunk guy at bar: I have to pee, but first I have one word for you: threesome.
–Crocodile Lounge
Drunk girl #1: You can buy the morning after pill with your ID now!
Drunk girl #2: Yeah, I was think about buying a hamster from PETCO now that I'm old enough!
–3rd Ave & 13th St
Drunk guy #1: Alright, just saying, if all of us and our friends were chicks, who would get a boob job?
Drunk guy #2: Oh, definitely Mike*. You know, I would definitely say him. He's pretty vain.
(two innings and many beers later)
Drunk guy #1: Alright, if we all were chicks, who'd be clean shaven?
Drunk guy #3: It'd be Steve*. I mean, he already manscapes!
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Number 6
Headline by: stephie
Runners-Up:
· “Alright, If We All Were Chicks, What Base Would You Go to With Me?” – Rosie
· “And Which One Would Go Lesbian With Me?” – Meredith
· “And to Answer Your Next Question, Frank Already Does Anal So…..” – I’d shave too.
· “How We Ended Up Giving One Another Head, But Not in a Gay Way” – Rionn Fears Malechem
· “Then Raise Your Beers and Answer Me This, “Who Would Swallow?”” – Bobo D Clown
Drunk woman on cell: Come out with us! Don't go to bed. You're a realtor. Realtors don't sleep.
Drunk man, stealing cell phone: Hey–get over here. You're a realtor. You don't sleep, you don't eat. You're a realtor.
–Bleecker & Macdougal
Overheard by: Emily
Drunk balding fratboy in elevator: Dude who's that chick in the picture on your phone?
Tall friend: Oh, it's my niece.
Drunk balding fratboy in elevator: Buzzkill.
–Bowlmor Night Club
Overheard by: Revere La Noue
Drunk guy #1: I haven't really done anything past missionary.
Drunk guy #2: Dude, why?
Drunk guy #1: Well I did do this one where she bent over and my balls kept on smacking her ass.
Drunk guy #2: Doggie style?
Drunk guy #1: No, not doggie style, I've seen dogs fuck, and it wasn't like this, like my balls were really smacking her ass, it made a sound. I watched dogs, their balls don't make a sound like that. It was like a smack, you know.
–PATH Train
Drunk and disorderly woman: Joshua! What the fuck?! (gives him a clumsy punch) Oh my god! This shit's not gonna come off!
Sober male companion: I don't know what you're flipping out about. You would've just licked it off your arm anyway.
–Ave U & W 7th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Kris S.
Drunken woman: So why did you decide to marry her?
Drunken man: Because she just moved in!
–Ayza Wine & Chocolate Bar
Overheard by: Colleen
Hobo #1: Man, I love being drunk.
Hobo #2: I know. You say that every day.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Frenchie
