Clearly-an-out-of-towner #1: Dude! I just saw Jessica Alba go into Red Lobster!
Clearly-an-out-of-towner #2: Whoa! Dude! New York is different than Wyoming!
–E Train
Overheard by: Lee
Clearly-an-out-of-towner #1: Dude! I just saw Jessica Alba go into Red Lobster!
Clearly-an-out-of-towner #2: Whoa! Dude! New York is different than Wyoming!
–E Train
Overheard by: Lee
Guy #1: She was 14?!
Guy #2: Well, I didn’t know she was 14 when I slept with her.
Guy #1: Dude, how did you not know?!
Guy #2: She didn’t look 14…
Guy #1: And you didn’t ask her age?
Guy #2: I did. She lied and said she was 21.
Guy #1: And you didn’t ask for some identification?
Guy #2: Yeah man, ’cause the way to get a girl into bed is to ask her for some ID first.
Guy #1: Good point… Well, how old did you say you were?
Guy #2: 21.
Guy #1: 21?!
Guy #2: Yeah, 21.
Guy #1: Right, of course. Because 39 is clearly the new 21!
Guy #2: Don’t judge me, man…
–52nd & Madison
Overheard by: So <i>not</i> 14!
Russian woman to Russian friend: I want to see Notorious because it's about black people.
–Regal Cinema, 13th & Broadway
High school boy: Hey, look–a black kid!
–B1 Bus
Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman
Black guy: Don't worry, its alright! I'm not that black! I haven't mugged anybody in two weeks, and I love all white people under six feet tall!
–Time Square
Overheard by: Jennie
Middle-aged black woman, to no one in particular: That George W. Bush! He walks like an arrogant black man!
–Queens
Overheard by: BigFatTiger
Nerdy Jewish guy: I don't know what went wrong. I should be a black girl by now!
–Queens College
Hot 20-something redhead: So that’s why you barely said hello when I got back from Mexico?!
Hot 20-something blonde: Uh-huh.
Hot 20-something redhead: You were in a bad mood because your vibrator broke?!
–West Village
Big guy: What you have to do is use your discrepancy.
Young lady: Yeah, I agree.
–W 43rd St, between 8th & 9th Ave
Overheard by: John Paul
Girl #1 singing: Bum basket, bum basket!
Girl #2: Let’s put everything we don’t want into the basket.
Girl #1: And deliver it to bums in the neighborhood on Thanksgiving.
Girl #2: Wearing pilgrim outfits!
–3rd St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: laughing at the next table
Hoochie teen: Well, I’m still a virgin. I only let him put it in my ass.
Friend: You know that anal sex counts as sex, right?
Hoochie teen: Are you sure?
–Times Square
Girl #1 to friends on subway: I love sitting like this, we can all see each other… It’s like…
Girl #2, almost in unison with girl #3: It’s like we’re in a circle, yeah!
Girl #3: And you’re like, like, the point!
–5 Train
Gay guy on cell: And they had the guy with the biggest butt stand next to the guy with the second-biggest butt! Seriously, what is wrong with them?
–6th Ave & 12th
Woman getting on a crowded train, looking for a seat: See, I told you there would be a lot of behinds on this train!
–N Train
Overheard by: Some behind lucky enough to find a seat.
Thug to another: After I wipe his ass, I'm gonna beat his ass!
–86th & Park Ave
Woman on cell: So, what are you going to tell him? "Sorry, I can't marry you–your ass is broken"?
–1st & 23
Teen to friend: Why didn't he use a tennis racket? It would have left that waffle fry look on your ass.
–Bus to Penn Station
Skipping tween girl to metrosexual father: I've seen your butt, you know!
–72nd & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: Shannon
Guy to friend: When Obama wins, I'm going to slap a white person.
–Central Park Bench
Overheard by: Lane
Lady getting sprayed with perfume by her friend: Stop. Stop it! You gonna make me smell like white people.
–East Drive, Prospect Park
Overheard by: White smelly jogger
Black gay man sans shirt, upon seeing group of white girls wandering: Oh my god, white girls! Oh, I didn't mean it like that.
–Christopher St
Gentleman walking past Miss Mamie's Spoonbread Too restaurant: Man, black people eating tofu, white people eating spoonbread…
–W 110th & Columbus
Gingy, referring to ebony colored condoms: This way, when I fuck a white boy he'll still be black!
–E Broadway 99 Cent Store
Black lady in african garb: Too many white flower! Need more black power! (the only white girl around looks up confusedly, now black lady screams in her face) White flower!
–125th & Adam Clayton Powell
Overheard by: Ruby
