Chinese DVD lady: You want DVD? Spiderman, Pirates? All good new movies, you want?
People at table: No, thanks.
Tranny at next table (loudly): Yo mama you got any pornos in there? Hmm, I want something with dick in it, big dicks. You got anything?
–37th Ave Subway, After Gay Parade
Overheard by: Empty Refrigerator
Gay hipster guy #1: Check him out.
Gay hipster guy #2: Damn, if I was a girl my pussy would be so big. Mm.
Gay hipster guy #1: I just grew a pussy and now its wet.
–F Train
Headline by: nays
Runners-Up:
· “Evolution in Action” – Drew
· “Homosexuals at the Forefront Of Evolution!” – fester60613
· “It’s From the New ADULT Line Of Chia Pets.” – Ch-ch-ch-chia!
· “Jeff Goldbloom: Life Finds a Way.” – space coyote
· “Oh, Just What I Need, Another Fag-Hag. Thanks a LOT, Trevor.” – Rhadamanthus
Man #1: Hey, gay angel!
Man #2 (walking ahead of man #1): Did you just call me a gay angel?
Man #1: Yeah.
Man #2: That's why you are my best friend, asshole.
–1st St & Ave A
Overheard by: lila
Man: So I was making out with my ex girlfriend on the bridge and out of nowhere this dog runs over and starts humping my leg…
–Uptown 1 Train
Dude outside bar: All dogs are gay.
–7th Avenue, Park Slope
Overheard by: The Katie
Black man arguing with kiosk man: Yo, he ain't my son, he's my dog!
–6th Street
Middle-aged woman walking her dog to passersby: I'm a dog! I don't know why none of you believe me! I talk to my dog. Humans don't talk to animals, animals talk to animals! I'm not human! And until you people realize that, you're going to keep having problems with me!
–9th St & University Place
Overheard by: Katie
Drunk guy to girls walking puppy: Hey giiirl. Watch yo dawg. Giiirl! Watch yo dog… Cuz I might bite!
–Staten Island Boardwalk
Overheard by: Izzy
(teacher's cell rings)
Teacher: I have a feeling I have to answer this. It's very important. It's about my puppy.
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: student
Meathead #1: Hey, if we went camping and got really drunk, and you woke up with a used condom in your ass, would you tell anyone?
Meathead #2: Ummmm no. I don't think I would.
(five minutes later)
Meathead #1: Wanna go camping?
–C Train
woman #1: I think he's gay. He uses the word “eeek” a lot.
Woman #2: “I-c-k”?
Woman #1: No, “e-e-e-c-k”.
Woman #2: Isn't it “c-h”?
Woman #1: “C-h,” “c-k,” who cares! But that's gay, right?
Woman #2: Totally.
–Dylan Prime Restaurant, Tribeca
Activist: Excuse me, do you have a minute for gay rights?
Little boy: Daddy, what's gay rights?
Father: Umm… ask your mother.
–Bedford & N. 2nd, Williamsburg
Father: …and a sugar cookie.
Barista: Which color?
Father (to son): Which color do you want? (to barista) Purple.
Seven-year-old son: No, pink!
Father: Okay.
Seven-year-old son: But that doesn't mean I'm gay.
–Starbucks, 23rd & 5th
Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson
Creep (yelling out of window): Oh, sexy! Look at you in that red shirt! I love girls in colors!
Girl #1 (yelling and running): I'm married!
Girl #2: Shit, don't say that. You look like you're 12, no one will believe you're married.
Girl #1: Yeah, I should have said I was a lesbian.
Girl #2: He'll just think it's hot!
Girl #1: I did always think that was so weird about guys.
Girl #2: It's not just guys. A lot of girls think lesbians are hot, too.
Girl #1: Yeah, like, especially lesbians.
–6th Ave
Gay or foreign guy #1: But it has sentimental value to you. So you can say, “I have this memory.”
Gay or foreign guy #2: But that's not why I have the picture of Mario Lopez.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Ladle
