Chick: Do you want this seat?
Old man: I may be 100 years old, but I’m only going one stop!
–6 train
Chick: Do you want this seat?
Old man: I may be 100 years old, but I’m only going one stop!
–6 train
Crying screaming Indian girl: I am so sick of this! I do so much for you, you mean everything to me and I am so sick of this! I was there for you! Nothing mattered to you!
Asian ex-boyfriend: Ummm…
Indian girl: And I am so tired of you choosing them over me. Always choosing the Asian girls over me! It never matters, because you always choose the Asians!
–NYU Silver Center
Girl #1: My brother drives between Alaska and Colorado once a year. It’s a really long drive.
Girl #2: Wait… I thought Alaska wasn’t connected to America.
Guy: It’s connected to Canada.
Girl #2: So, there’s like, a bridge?
Guy: No. It’s connected to Canada.
Girl #2: No, it’s not! It’s an island. Canada breaks up over there.
Guy: I swear to god, it’s connected to Canada.
Girl #2: No!
–Coffee shop, Mercer & 3rd
Chick #1: That was kinda fun last night.
Chick #2: What, being a sober tool?
(pause)
Chick #1: Yeah.
–Metro North
Girl: So, what do you want to do?
Tourist guy: I want to meet a famous person!
Guy: I’m sure we can get some tickets to MTV or something.
Tourist guy: No, I wanna see them on the street and be like “Hey. You!” and have them turn around and be like “*gasp* Woah” and I’d be like “Woah”.
–1 Train
Overheard by: teehee
Teen girl to girl friend: Hey, when are we getting our matching tattoos?
Guy friend to another: She's so serious.
–Duane Reade
Girl to friend: Oh, my God, I think I just left the most embarrassing thing in the bathroom.
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: V
Woman to roommate: When we get home, we'll have embarrassing sexual accidents!
–Pathmark, Massapequa
Overheard by: Are they really accidents if you plan ahead?
Nerdy TA: The thesis talk is kind of like the sex talk. It's a little embarrassing, no one really wants to give it, but it'll make you grow as adults.
–Columbia University
Girl to friend: I'm not embarrassed that I peed in his bed. I'm just not.
–Columbia University
Girl on cell: I saw it and I thought, "how embarrassing would it be riding on a bike with a nun."
–Grand Central
Overheard by: galgal
20-ish guy: So, I should just ask: Can I come in and fuck your brains out?
20-ish girl: You don’t have to be all Tarantino about it, but yeah.
–44th & Broadway
Overheard by: Esther
Lazy guy on bike: My tailbone hurts.
Lazy girl on bike: My vagina bones hurt.
–East Village
Girl #1: Sorry I’m late. I was constipated.
Girl #2: Do you want to take your shirt off?
–21st & 3rd
