Wednesday One-Liner: The Musical

Girl to class: I love classical music! I listen to the Bambi soundtrack all the time!

–Curtis High School, Staten Island

Guy in lobby, at intermission: Hands down, the best band I've ever seen in concert… Hootie and the Blowfish.

–Jazz at Lincoln Center

Guy on cell: I guess they're musicians. They put bitches ahead of practice.

–79th St b/w York & 1st

Overheard by: Queixa

Gay man to another, walking out of a bank: I mean, if you listen to like, one Sade song every six years, it's okay.

–15th St & 8th Ave

Lesbian: Fuck her! All she wants to do is stay home and sit in the kitchen and drink beer and listen to Melissa Etheridge! Fuck her! She can take a cab home!

–Staten Island

Overheard by: Kateri

Straight girl with a seat at the piano: No, I've never been here before, but I'm actually having a good time. I mean, I don't know most of these songs, but earlier he was playing The Sound of Music, and I was rocking out to that.

–Marie's Crisis Piano Bar

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

Crazy old cat lady to guy who just shut off obnoxiously loud music in next lane: Why'd you shut it off? I liked that song!

–Marathon Parkway & Northern Boulevard

Posted on September 13, 2017
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bank, Bars & Clubs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Classroom, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Disney, Drinking & Drunk People, Fast Times at New York High, Girls, Guys, Idiots, Insults, Lesbians, Music, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Promiscuity, Public Transportation, Queens, Queer guys, Questions, Singing, Staten Island, Street, Students, Stupidity, Time, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires, Women

Wednesday One-Liners, from the Redwood Forest to the Gulf Stream Waters

Very heavy ten-year-old boy, yelling excitedly: I heard they have bacon flavored popcorn in Florida! I love the south!

–Flushing, Queens

Hipster girl on cell: The entire state of Mississippi isn't a complete waste of space, even though it seems like it right now.

–Atlantic & Smith, Brooklyn Heights

Wino, grabbing can of beer: Here's 15 cents. I'll get the rest of it for you today. I promise! I'm from Georgia, I know how this shit works!

–Deli at 33rd & 7th

Overheard by: EthanK

Loud girl to friend: Maria? Maria's not dead, Maria's in Virginia?

–BxM10 Bus

Overheard by: bxgirl

Girl to boyfriend: I mean, when someone says they're throwing an "Iowa State Fair"-themed wedding, you don't think twice about going!

–30th Ave, Astoria

Posted on September 10, 2017
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Boyfriends, Brooklyn, Bus, Celebrations/Parties, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Death, Delis, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Food, Friends, Girls, Hipsters, Kids, Marriage, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Queens, Questions, Street, Stupidity, U.S. Geography, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

When Doctors Form Gangs

Little blond boy pointing to graffiti on bus seat: What does that say?
Mom: I don’t know… It was written by someone with really bad handwriting.

–72nd Crosstown bus

Posted on September 9, 2017
Girls, Kids, Moms, On the Bus, Parents, Public Transportation, Questions, Words

The Live-Bug Earrings, Especially

Girl #1, yelling: We are not weird! We are not odd! Why would someone say that!?
Girl #2: Well, I'm a little odd.
Girl #1: Yeah. I guess you are.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: .bryan.

Posted on September 8, 2017
Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Questions, Weirdness

Who Says College Doesn't Prepare You for the Real World?

Frat boy: If you press your thumb hard in the middle of your forehead it stops your gag reflex for a minute.
Girl: Uhhh how do you know that?
Frat boy: I learned it at my frat, you can swallow a whole banana!

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: JC

Posted on September 4, 2017
Advice, Body Parts, Bryant Park, Default, Education, Food, Frat Boys, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Weirdness

Everything Old Is New Again

Chick: We could liquor him up and steal his soul.
Guy: Why would we want his soul?
Chick: Because black is the new black.

–140th & Broadway

Posted on August 27, 2017
Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Offers and requests, Race, Thievery

She’ll Need It When She Gets Her Ass Kicked

A woman on a crowded train has put her bag on a seat and is standing in front of it.

Girl: Are you going to sit down?
Lady: Yes.
Girl: When?
Lady: Soon. I’m warming it up.

–A train

Overheard by: LSB

Posted on August 26, 2017
Comebacks, Girls, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Women

It's Where She Does Her Secret Eating

Girl #1: Where did she go?
Girl #2: She went to the bathroom.
Girl #1: Why?

–Amtrak

Overheard by: mike the observer

Posted on August 23, 2017
Girls, Questions, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway

See How Easy It Is Finding Someone to Tell You What to Do?

Ditzy blonde: I know you’ll think this is stupid, but I was thinking of going to a life coach. A life coach or a really good psychic.
Brunette friend: You know what? I do think it’s stupid. Here, I’ll be your life coach: Fuck psychics, and go get a job. Oh, and don’t get fired this time. You’re fixed now.

–Metro North-Harlem

Posted on August 22, 2017
Advice, Default, Friends, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Jobs & Careers, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway

That’s the Axe Effect, You Gauche Biotech

A crazy man mutters to a girl walking by. She ignores him and keeps walking.

Crazy man: God kill all the lesbians. God please kill all the lesbians. Kill the lesbians. God please kill all the lesbians!
Woman on bench: Yeah, I’m sure it’s because she is a lesbian, and had has nothing to do with the fact that he has three combs stuck in his afro and smells like a dead goat.

–Columbus Circle station

Posted on August 21, 2017
Anger Management, Cleanliness, Crazies, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Hobos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murder, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Women

Girls