Loud girl #1: So, are you going to tell Eric*?
Loud girl #2: It was a dance.
Loud girl #1: And a kiss.
Jamaican man, who has overheard: Oh. Oh, that’s cold. You ain’t gonna tell him?
Loud girl #2: I didn’t kiss him, he kissed me.
Jamaican man: This gon’ get ugly, you hear me?
Loud girl #2: Fine! I’ll tell him! Then you’ll see ugly.
Jamaican man: Jus’ call me Dear Abby.
–Elevator, Brooklyn
Old time New Yorker to EMS workers and crowd: Sit down!
Suburban princess: God! Have some compassion! Can't you see she's sick?
Old time New Yorker: Fuck you!
–Subway Series 2007, Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Amazed Mets Fan
Drunk girl: Ummm, we were out and your penis was a topic of conversation.
Sober friend: Oh, yeah?
Drunk girl: Yeah, we think it’s big.
Sober friend: Well, it has some good references. I’ll have him send you a resumé.
–St. Mark’s & 2nd
Overheard by: Morgan SO fetch
Mom: Let’s go inside, these flies are driving me crazy.
Six-year-old daughter: But mom, it’s nature.
–Sidewalk Cafe, 120th & Malcolm X
Little girl: Can I have pizza?
Exasperated, sweaty mom: No, it’s hot. And pizza is… hot. And it has… cheese…
–65th & Columbus
Overheard by: simon
Hobo: I have not eaten anything in three days and it’s freezing out. Could you find it in your heart to help me out?
Chick: I won’t give you money, but I will go into that deli and buy you dinner.
Hobo: Thank you so much. But I’m Jewish and if you don’t mind, I would really like a kosher sandwich from Mendy’s.
Chick: Oh, forget it — here’s five bucks!
–34th & Park
Blonde chick: I don’t understand. It’s stupid. You mutiply it by 4.
Brunette chick: No, there are 52 weeks in a year.
Blonde chick: No, you multiply the months by 4. 12 times 4, and you get 48.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Bystander
British guy: Hey, look, an eye patch. This will look great with my smoking jacket.
British girl: What costume will that be?
British guy: Costume? I just think it will look good.
–Party City, Union Square
Overheard by: Charlie
Girl, after getting foot run over by bike: Ow!
Man with bike: Sorry. (to friend) Look at her eyes, she's got blowjob eyes.
–L Train
Overheard by: Will
