Teenybopper twelve-year-old #1: He was cute and all, but not oozing or anything.
Teenybopper twelve-year-old #2: Oh no honey, he was definitely oozing. He was hot.
–R Train
Overheard by: Fareesa
Teenybopper twelve-year-old #1: He was cute and all, but not oozing or anything.
Teenybopper twelve-year-old #2: Oh no honey, he was definitely oozing. He was hot.
–R Train
Overheard by: Fareesa
Girl (pointing at Nano ad on side of phone booth): Look, it's those iPods I want to eat.
Guy: Eat them? They do kind of look like Skittles.
Girl: Yes, mmmmm! I want to eat them!
Guy: What would the gray one taste like?
Girl: Meatloaf.
–56th & 9th
Overheard by: Guy who wouldn't eat them
Hipster guy: He wants to write a book about how hipsters are all about being nihilistic and getting lung cancer from oral sex.
–Hop Scotch, Ave A
Hipster guy to girl: It’s like, you can’t take my identity. I’m a film director, that’s who I am. It’s like if I was a carpenter, I would make wood. I mean, I would make buildings… You can’t just choose to be a carpenter.
–Pepe Rosso’s, Sullivan St
Asian hipster chick: You know, when you ask someone what they’re doing and they say clearing their head? I don’t think you can really do that because when you say you’re clearing your head you are really thinking about clearing your head so it isn’t clear after all.
–A Train
Overheard by: kate
Über-hipster chick to another: Bitch! Brunch tomorrow or I’ll fucking smack that headband right off you!
–8th & Bedford, Brooklyn
Hipster girl: What floor was fluffy on?! What floor was fluffy on?!?!??!
–Hookah Bar, East Village
Overheard by: Marisa
Hipster: It was a mess. I mean, you don’t want anarchists at the socialist barbecue. Haven’t you ever read Kropotkin?
–125th St
Overheard by: Ali
Cropped girl #1: Why doesn’t Dawn have any other friends?
Cropped girl #2: Would you hang out with her?
Long-haired girl: Yes. She has long, shiny hair.
Cropped girl #1: Well, you are easier than other people.
Cropped girl #2: This is why she is our friend.
Long-haired girl: But neither of you has long, shiny hair.
Cropped girl #2: But I did when you first met me.
Long-haired girl: And that has held over.
–13th St & Ave A
Overheard by: Lola
Black girl #1: I'm just too black.
Black girl #2: Oh my god! You are so racist!
Black girl #3: You are just like Oprah! You be hatin' on your own self!
–Stuyvesant Place, Staten Island
Girl #1: She's a stupid skanky whore!
Girl #2: Yeah, but she's family.
–Union Square
Bitchy gay guy, after overhearing lengthy phone conversation: Damn, he was on the phone longer than your local congresswoman.
Girl: I don't know, I just get so much energy from him.
Bitchy gay guy: I get gas.
–36th St, Queens
Overheard by: Jamie
Teenage girl to friend: I'm not even kidding, her asshole was *this* big! (connects her thumbs and pointer fingers making a large circle)
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: soccer mom
Female suit to friends: And the old-timers were just such assholes…
–Walker & W Broadway
Overheard by: j
Big squirming Latin kid: God! I got this burnin' in my asshole, man!
–Xavier High School
Overheard by: seriously?
Concerned friend to sobbing girl: All you did wrong was sleep with him before you knew he was an asshole!
–Coffeeshop, Park Slope
Overheard by: TheGreenCat
Girl #1: Did you know that if you lick the wrapper of Big Red it'll stick to your forehead?
Girl #2: I learned about pineapple yesterday.
–Theater
New School girl #1: Hey! I love your dress.
New School girl #2: Thanks! I just got it.
Friendly professor: My wife has a dress just like that. When my mother saw her, she thought she was pregnant.
–New School
