Black girl #1, as she passes a white couple making out in the middle of the sidewalk: Dude, that's where I got the idea to have sex in the park.
Black girl #2: What?
Black girl #1: Well, I didn't get the idea from black people.
(black girl #2 laughs)
Black girl #1: What? Lots of people have sex in the park.
–Broadway & Spring
Overheard by: I love people…..
Guy: You should be more like me.
Girl: Believe me, out of the five people in life I would like to emulate, you are not one of them.
Guy: Is that because I knocked you up?
Girl: Yeah, actually. That did bump you down a significant amount of notches.
–Downtown A Train
Girl #1: Did you know, for my abortion… Well, my first one, anyway… I went by myself to the clinic and took a cab home? If I ever get knocked up again, will you come to the hospital with me?
Girl #2, without a hint of irony: I love hospitals.
Girl #3, deadpan: It's true. She really does love hospitals.
–Lafayette & Spring
Overheard by: Rori
Girl, watching bulldog sprawled on sidewalk: Oh my god, I thought that was his head!
Guy: What, his butt?
–Fort Greene, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Morning Glory
Girl #1: I was reading this article about sexual fantasies that are better if they stay fantasies.
Girl #2: Like mermen?
Girl #1: I think they meant, like, titty-fucking and threesomes, but sure.
Girl #2: But mermen… That's pretty complicated.
–60th & 3rd
Overheard by: …or that
Girl #1: I need to get my nails done because I'm going to be a panda for Halloween.
Girl #2, completely serious: Oh my god, you would make a great panda!
Girl #1, also completely serious: Thank you!
–NYU
Man: I got beat up a lot in high school. It made me a better person.
–College of Staten Island
Overheard by: Incredibly Amused
Little boy: You best lay the smackdown on that hoe!
–Times Square
Student: I don't get why everyone is making such a big deal about Chris Brown hitting Rihanna, it's not like he's the first man to ever hit a girl. Get over it, world!
–Manhattan College, Riverdale, The Bronx
Overheard by: Stephen
Girl on cell outside beauty salon: If I didn't have things to do tonight, I would totally just slap the crap out of that girl. Seriously.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: maybe tomorrow, then?
Woman on cell: I went through this with my daughter this morning. (pause) Yeah, okay, you can hit me, but you can't hit anybody else.
–Cookshop Restaurant
Girl to friend: If it weren't for my sister's dog, I wouldn't have to drink during the day.
–Greenpoint
Overheard by: Kevin
Gay dude to another: It's so amazing how dogs get all up in there. Like, what if people had to introduce themselves that way? How great would it be if when I met you I had to sniff your ass?
–17th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: BT
Girl on cell: So wait, did Dr Siegel really charge you 150 dollars to chop a pimple off the dog's booty?
–Hart & Irving, Brooklyn
Girl to guy: Ever spend a lot of time with a Shih Tzu?
–MacDougal & 3rd St
Female voice outside my window: And I'm keeping the dog leg–I don't even care what you have to say!
–113th St b/w Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Woman: Well, I still remember that 5,820 feet is a mile, 36 feet is a yard…
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: People are wrong.
Girl, looking at guy: If I give you five dollars, will you grow a foot long?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Jeggy
5th-grader to table full of friends: Attention everyone. I have finally reached five feet!
–Cafeteria, Private School
Overheard by: Maddy
Guy on cell: Holy shit! Hello Kitty is taller than me!
–Times Square
Chubby 20-something guy, feeding chips to chubby 20-something girlfriend while making airplane and spaceship noises: The exhaust port is only two meters wide!
–1 Train
Ditzy girl #1: I have to go, I kind of don't have time to get Pinkberry right now.
Ditzy girl #2: Come on! We're almost at the front of the line, it'll be like five more minutes.
Ditzy girl #1: I'm like an hour late for work!
Ditzy girl #2: Chill out, it's your first day, it's not like you have a record of being late!
–Pinkberry , 112th & Broadway
Overheard by: That's one more job out there for me!
