Wednesday One-Liners Are Also a Member

Woman on cell: The inflatable penis and inflatable vagina are for me, mom, I figured the kids could use them as pillows.

–Broadway & Worth St

Overheard by: Hoping I never go on a car trip with this broad

Passerby to man peeing in the bushes: There's a kid coming, put your cock up!

–Union Square

Scene Soho chick: He's not gay, he just loves cock!

–Uncle Nick's Greek Cuisine, 9th Ave

Overheard by: Todd

Little boy throwing marshmallows: I hit him in the penis!

–Frankfort & Rose

Overheard by: Kristen

Posted on January 20, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Kids, Men, Moms, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Pee, Penis, Restaurants & Cafes, Sexuality, Strangers, Street, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

“Not a Wednesday Was Stirring, Not Even a One-Liner”

Little girl: Daddy! I'm so excited to see the rats!

–Metro-North Rail

20-something guy to friends: He couldn't drink because he was on antibiotics. He got a rat disease from a lab rat that bit him.

–Lincoln Center

Guy to girlfriend: I step on dead rats all the time!

–Mercer St

Overheard by: Julie

20-something girl on cell: The mouse was fed to the snake the night before, so when I saw it the next morning, I freaked.

–R Train

Cop: We had a guy down here eating a rat. I said, "You're a gentleman in society." He put the rat in his mouth.

–South Ferry Subway

Posted on January 20, 2010
Accidents, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Body Parts, Cops, Dads, Death, Drinking & Drunk People, Food, Friends, Girlfriends, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Illness, Kids, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Street, Trains Not Subway, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Dear Miss Manners…

Drunk girl #1: Excuse me! Can I bum a cigarette?
(annoyed woman hands her one while grumbling in Spanish)
Drunk girl #2: She said “puta”! She totally just called you a bitch!
Drunk girl #1: Well, I have the free cigarette, so who's the bitch now?

–42nd St & Lexington

Overheard by: Sam

Posted on January 19, 2010
Drunks, Free stuff!, Girls, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, Smoking, Women

Ben's Not Queer; He's Just from Delaware

Girl: No way! How do you know?
Guy: Because my roommate heard them having sex! Apparently, he screams like a girl.

–Union Square

Overheard by: MASHI

Posted on January 19, 2010
Compare/Contrast, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Sexuality, Union Square and East Village

Someday My Prince Will Awaken Them With a Kiss

Girl, pushing stroller: Jesus, it's so cold out! My nipples are like icicles.
Friend: My nipples are always icy.

–125th & Broadway

Overheard by: LeAnne

Posted on January 19, 2010
Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Nipples, Sensory Experiences, Weather, Weirdness

Ahem, It's “Chicken Lady“

Girl #1: I hate people who keep talking because they love the sound of their own voice! Like, unless you're gonna tell me about shoving a chicken up your vagina, I don't wanna hear it!
Girl #2: That's the second time we've talked about chicken girl and I still don't know her name.

–Crown Heights

Overheard by: chris k.

Posted on January 19, 2010
Birds, Brooklyn, Girls, Gripes, Names, Vagina

Men's Texting Only Fills the Empty Hours Between Blowjobs

Guy: This girl just sent me a text that ended in a winky face. How should I respond?
Girl: Well, do you like her?
Guy: No, but I do want a blowjob.

–14th St

Overheard by: Good luck

Posted on January 18, 2010
BJs, Cell Phone, Girls, Guys, The Village, Wishes & desires

No Glove, No Love, Babe

Out-of-town girl, smelling her hands: Gahh! My hands fucking stink!
Guy friend: I call those my New York gloves. Better get used to it.

–G Train

Overheard by: chris k.

Posted on January 17, 2010
Body Parts, Friends, Girls, Guys, Nicknames & name calling, On the Subway, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences

Maybe She'd Tell Me I'm Pretty and That She Loves Me

Girl: I don't date much.
Guy: Why not?
Girl: Umm… No reason.
Guy: Are you a lesbian?
Girl: No!
Guy, pointing to a girl walking by: Would you date her?
Girl, thinking it over: I actually might.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Andrew

Posted on January 15, 2010
Central Park, Dating, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Lies, Parks, Sexuality

Which She Does Every Weekend!

Guy with British accent: I can't believe she blew me off again! It's not even like she had Jay-Z tickets!
Girl with British accent: No, she was just getting drunk with an Irishman!

–8th Street & Broadway

Overheard by: amalthya

Posted on January 14, 2010
Brits, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, Guys, Music, The Village

Girls

Ahem, It's “Chicken Lady“