Geek boy: You printed out her whole Facebook page!
Asian girl: Dude, you’re a total stalker!
Stalker boy: I’m not a stalker, I just like to keep track of people!
–2 Train
Overheard by: MTA’s Flying Dutchman
Geek boy: You printed out her whole Facebook page!
Asian girl: Dude, you’re a total stalker!
Stalker boy: I’m not a stalker, I just like to keep track of people!
–2 Train
Overheard by: MTA’s Flying Dutchman
Trendy girl #1: I mean, Michelle’s one of my best friends…
Trendy girl #2: Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you, did Michelle and Kyle break up?
Trendy girl #1: I think so. According to Facebook.
–A Train
Girl (sobbing): I’m sorry… I know cheating is never the answer… I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to you.
(long silence)
Guy (chuckling): Sorry for laughing. I’m just thinking of what a better person than you I am.
(five minutes later)
Guy (still chuckling): You know you’re hot and guys hit on you all the time but what you forget is that I’m hot. Girls hit on me every day. But I’d never cheat because I’m a good person.
–Metro Cafe, 57th & 5th
Customer to punk teenage girl behind counter: I’d like a dozen rolls, please.
Punk teenage girl: A dozen… What’s that, like twenty?
–Delicatessen, Park Place
Creepy guy: I was in Japan and went on this rampage and slept with this woman who was 38 and had a kid and was married. Her husband had a bad back and couldn’t have sex with her, but he was fully aware I was sleeping with her. I was kind of doing him a favor.
Creepy guy’s date: Did he watch?
Creepy guy: No, but he wanted us to videotape it. So somewhere in Japan there’s a video of me doing it with an older woman.
–Park Slope
Strange Latino man to girl: Excuse me, but I was wondering, do you like poetry?
Girl: (stares for a moment) Um, vomit.
–104th St & Broadway
(random guy trips over three-year-old girl’s stroller)
Guy: Oops, I’m sorry, honey.
Three-year-old girl in stroller: Don’t call me honey!
–Atlantic Ave Station
Overheard by: Michael
(hip girl yells in excitement)
Old woman on street: Grow up!
Hip girl to friend: God! Homeless people spend all day screaming on the street and no one tells them too grow up.
Hip friend: Yeah, it’s not your fault that your dad’s a republican.
–School of Visual Arts
Overheard by: dobby
Girl: Oh my god, I have to go the bathroom again.
Boy: I think you have a problem: you pee a lot.
Girl: Actually, I don’t pee. I have a thing for public restrooms. I like to lick the toilet seat.
Boy: That’s the last time I share a drink with you!
–Ludlow & Houston
Guy: So she doesn’t even like him?
Girl: No.
Guy: Well then, why does she stay with him?
Girl: I asked her that too. She said “He’s got a twelve inch cock and he doesn’t hit me. I’m stayin’!”
–Rivington & Allen
Overheard by: Jonathan
