Girl #1: I don't understand why parents are upset when babies die…it's not like they've accomplished anything.
Girl #2: I think there's more to it than that.
–Howard Ave, Staten Island
Girl #1: I don't understand why parents are upset when babies die…it's not like they've accomplished anything.
Girl #2: I think there's more to it than that.
–Howard Ave, Staten Island
Disgusted girl to friend: Are you drinking Jägermeister and Red Bull?
Friend: Hell yeah!
Disgusted girl to friend: Don't say it like you are proud!
–Skinny Bar, Lower East Side
Veggie-curious girl: I like to get this really great dressing and then add all sorts of interesting vegetables.
Supportive friend: Like what?
Veggie-curious girl: Tofu!
–Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: receptionist
Headline by: EddieA
Runners-Up:
· “And Croutons!” – Vanessa
· “Gesundheit!” – Sandy Paws
· “If Regan Can Make Ketchup a Vegetable, Why the Fuck Not?” – Humberto
· “It’s the Other White Vegetable” – do2na
· “Sometimes I Get Crazy and Add Bacon Bits!” – Botticus
· “The Vitamin Deficiency Related Death Was Really No Surprise” – Proletariat
Girl #1: That fuckin’ sandwich was good as shit!
Girl #2: I know, right?!
–38th & 8th
Girl #1: I want to wear adult diapers… So I don't have to go to the bathroom a hundred times a day.
Girl #2: But you'll have to go anyway, to change yourself.
Girl #1: Yeah… like once a day!
–CVS
Girl #1: Did you see those two homeless men fighting by the subway?
Girl #2: I know! That was horrible!
Girl #1: Yeah. I was rooting for the guy in blue.
Girl #2: Really? I was going for the other one.
–Chelsea
Lady: Oh, Coca-Cola! I guess you don’t have gastrointeritis!
Girl: Uh, actually I was going to use it to cook.
Checkout guy: Yeah, you can cook with Coke. You don’t have to just drink it.
–Jefferson Market, 6th Avenue
Overheard by: Nicole J
Conductor: Attention downtown passengers. The train that just left the station was obviously not your train.
–6 Train
Woman on cell: Hey, it’s the MTA who should be spanked!
–Rector St.
Overheard by: Ladle
Small girl to mom: I like this train station the best because it has an elevator, and you can see the whole world outside. The whole wide beautiful world.
–Harlem Escalator, 1 Train
Overheard by: Mark Brinker
Guy: I get all my information from subway ads.
–F Train
Overheard by: Thom Cohen
Woman, hearing garbled announcement that E train is running as an F: No! They are takin’ all my E trains!
–E Train
Overheard by: I can has E train?
Crackhead: Make sure to take your newspapers with you on the way out of the train. I’m having company over later and I want it to look nice.
–Franklin Avenue Shuttle
Overheard by: shuttle rider
Guy: Marriage is not for me. It's like having cable with only one channel.
Girl: Me either. My mama says it's like when you see some clothes in a store window and you think you want it, but you look at it for too long and change your mind. That's how I feel.
Guy: Dang! That's cold, son! You're comparing guys to clothes?! That ain't right!
Girl: You just compared women to tv channels.
–110th St & Broadway
Overheard by: CE
