Wednesday One-Liners Will Be Married to Supermodels One Day

Nerdy tourist boy looking at display: My depth perception is yelling at me…

–Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: jules

Pizza guy on cell: Have a good 4th… What? No, I said to have a good 4th, not "may the force be with you." (pause) Have a good 4th. (pause) Yeah, have a good 4th, and may the force be with you. Uh- huh. Good night.

–Dekalb & Hall St, Brooklyn

Indian nerd to friends, in the midst of heated debate: Dude, vitamins are fucking weak!

–Grand Central Subway Platform

Overheard by: djprojexion

Geek on cell, in line at Comic Con: Dude, I'm at the con… It's like, ten times more awesome…than anything awesome!

–NYC Comic Con

Overheard by: RedmanInc

Nerdy guy: Some super powers come with implied powers. Like the power of flight. You assume the power of wind resistance, because you'd get pretty freaking cold flying 200 mph. But no one ever thinks of that.

–Fordham Law School

Posted on May 6, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Brooklyn, Clerks, Compare/Contrast, Fordham, Friends, Grand Central, Health and Hygiene, India Indians, Insults, Laughter, Movies, Museum of Natural History, Nerds, On Cell, One-liners, Parades & Festitivites, Sensory Experiences, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Superheroes, Tourists, Weather, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Just Like I Did.

Japanese toddler: Do they have jail in Japan?
Japanese dad: Yes, they have jail everywhere.
Japanese toddler: I want to go to jail!
Japanese dad: No, you don't. You get killed in jail.

–Grand Central Terminal

Posted on April 6, 2009
Dads, Grand Central, Japanese, Kids, Murder, Prison, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Come Talk to Me When You Master Cooking and Central Heating

Old British gentleman: The next train is when?
MTA employee in booth: 11:45.
Old British gentleman: This entire nation is incompetent!

–Grand Central Terminal

Posted on April 6, 2009
Brits, Clerks, Grand Central, Old People, Public Transportation, Questions

Wednesday-One-Liner Me, Kate

Black lesbian hipster: Don't, like, kiss me or look into my eyes…just fuck me and then buy me lunch.

–Eugene Lang College

Overheard by: Helena the Great

Little boy to sister, watching couple kissing and hugging: Ewwwwww! He kissed her!

–3rd Ave & 34th St

Overheard by: Valley

Guy on cell: So then if she has herpes, should I not kiss her?

–PATH Train

Woman to toddler: Yes, it's good. It's very good. Kissing and hugging are good.

–Eldridge St, Chinatown

Overheard by: wheelerface

Dad, to teenage son: Hey, Karen kissed me. And it was real.

–E 20th St

Overheard by: Angela

250-pound male Metro worker, singing gruffly: I kissed a girl and I liked it!

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Chis K

Posted on April 1, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Chinatown, Clerks, College, Dads, Fat People, Food, Grand Central, Guys, Hipsters, Hugs, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, Lesbians, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Questions, Sex, Sisters, STDs, Street, Teens, Trains Not Subway, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

You'd Better Not Be Writing Your Novel in There!

Man outside stall to presumed child: Okay champ, have you done your business in there?
Very deep voice from stall: Still working on it, thanks!

–Men's Room, Grand Central Station

Posted on March 31, 2009
Grand Central, Kids, Men, Poop, Questions, Strangers, Weirdness

We Have Either the Bible, Marie Claire, or a Book Of Crossword Puzzles

Sales associate #1, assisting a customer: Are there any good thrillers in paperback?
Sales associate #2: No.

–Grand Central Terminal

Overheard by: Jake E

Posted on March 31, 2009
Books & Writing, Coworkers, Grand Central, Questions

I Promise to Answer on the First Ring

Guido, shouting: Yo, who leaves a fuckin' business card in the shitter? Seriously!?
Man from across bathroom: You should call the number on the card, maybe they'll give you a blowjob.

–Grand Central Terminal

Overheard by: Michael

Posted on March 27, 2009
BJs, Grand Central, Guidos, Men, Money & Class, Questions

In a World Without Wiki…

Middle aged drunk woman: Excuse me sir, do you know what nasal douching is?
Random 20-something guy: Uh, I think it's when you stick your nose up in there and blow it out or something.

–Grand Central

Posted on March 22, 2009
Body Parts, Drunks, Grand Central, Medicine, Men, Questions, Stupidity, Women

You Can Always Tell Which Conductors Have Children

Conductor #1 on loudspeaker: Hey, Rich, can you bring my stuff into the train station once we get into Grand Central? I would, but some guy in car two won't move his big stupid dog and I can't get it past.
Conductor #2: Clifford? The big red stupid dog in your way? Alright, I got it.

–Grand Central Train

Overheard by: mq

Posted on March 14, 2009
Conductors, Grand Central, Man's Best Friend, Offers and requests, Public Transportation, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway

She Just Took Me Out to Dinner. Bitch.

Girl #1: So then he asked if I would send her a birthday card.
Girl #2: Oh my god, seriously? Why would he want you to send his mom a birthday card?
Girl #1: I know! It's not like she sent me one on my birthday.
Girl #2: Slut.

–Amtrak, Grand Central

Overheard by: RG

Posted on February 26, 2009
Birthdays, Family Ties, Gifts, Girls, Grand Central, Insults, Questions