Tourist, taking photo to woman walking in front of camera: Hey! You ruined my picture!
Aggravated city woman: And you ruined my city!
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: couldn't agree with you more!
Tourist, taking photo to woman walking in front of camera: Hey! You ruined my picture!
Aggravated city woman: And you ruined my city!
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: couldn't agree with you more!
Guy on cell: How can you be happy if you're acting like such a bitch all time?
–Melrose Ave & 154th St
Puerto Rican barista, as A-Team music starts playing: The A-Team! Man, that makes me think of when I was young and still happy!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Chris K.
30-something woman: I'm going to see Transformers. Transformers! Daa naa na naaa! You have to be happy in life, everybody is dying.
–34th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Frank Molla
Girl on cell, vehemently: I'm trying brown eyeliner. I hope this makes you happy!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Ashley
20-something girl: Just put some alcohol in me and I'll be happy.
–St. Mark's Place
Midwestern tourist to New York businesswoman: Is this where I can get the Long Island expressway?
Businesswoman, exasperated: Are you *fucking* kidding me?
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: Kiki
Teen brunette: And no, you cannot stand up in a meeting for worship and announce that you slept with Tigger.
Teen blonde: Yeah. Quakers are liberal, but not that liberal!
–Grand Central
Mom to little boy: Did you go number two?
Boy: I did! It was so little!
–Train, Grand Central
Overheard by: He has so little to get excited about.
History geek: You laugh, but where would you be without the 18th century? The 20th century, not the 21st, that's where.
–New York Historical Society
Overheard by: Emily B.
Little boy looking at book about Presidents: I see John F. Kennedy, and I see Abraham Lincoln, and I see… what's his name? Hilary's wife?
–BookCourt, Brooklyn
20-something girl: There's this guy in my class who's like an Indian. But, I keep reading these things about how we were so horrible to the Indians and how there are none left, so where did he come from? Like, if there are none left, where did he come from?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Beth!
Woman to daughter: You know what Henry VIII ruled with? He ruled with his dick!
–Penn Station
Teenage girl on cell, yelling: Victorian era lesbians! Not Edwardian! Lesbians weren't nearly hot enough in the Edwardian era! Yeah, we should probably watch it together.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: I really hope it's porn
Five-year-old girl, holding her nose, to mother: It smells here! It smells like New Jersey! Mommy! It smells like New Jersey!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Cicero
Teenager: Oh, wow, I didn't know New Jersey had any buildings.
–Christopher St. Pier
Girl on cell: I think I slept with a whore. Then I woke up in Jersey.
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Rachel
Crazy-sounding drunk girl: Ewww, why are there so many people from New Jersey here?
–Bowery & E 4th
Overheard by: do they emit a particular odor?
NYU guy trying to impress girls: My dad actually grew up right around here. Well…in New Jersey.
–St. Mark's & 3rd Ave
Girl sitting on raised metal platform on front deck to friend: Hey, do you want to turn around? We're looking at Jersey again.
–NYU LSP Boat Cruise
Girl to cashier: Do you have any locations in North Carolina?
Cashier to girl: No, we only have locations on the East and West coasts.
–Store, Grand Central
British tourist, passing by The Pink Tea Cup Southern restaurant: Oh, look–an urban menu!
–Bleecker & Grove
Young Asian tourist girl: You mean, there's not actually any fields?
–Strawberry Fields
Overheard by: Jason K.
Tourist, in thick Southern accent: I just don't understand how they turn the trains around so fast, and we don't see them do it!
–Grand Central Station, Shuttle Train
Overheard by: Sara
Tourist hick teen to others: Everybody's wearin' shoes!
–33rd St & 6th Ave
Elderly tourist being escorted to her seat: Oh! I hope we get a booth!
–Olive Garden
Overheard by: EthanK
Tourist to friend: No, we cannot go into a store. I cannot leave Broadway. How else would you expect me to get discovered?
–Time Square
Professional-sounding female on cell in bathroom stall: What? (sounds of toilet paper roll) In the bathroom? No! (indignantly) I…I'm…near the bathroom!
–Women's Bathroom, FAO Schwartz
Overheard by: near the computer
Girl to friend in bathroom stall: That crack in the door is big enough for me to see the crack of 'yo ass.
–Women's Bathroom, Hunter College
Man exiting bathroom stall to waiting man: No, no, no. Feces.
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: matt
Black loud cleaning lady to Asian woman: Excuse me, miss? Why you gotta be leaving the seat up? You always leave the seat up! Putting the seat up is okay, but if you put it up, put it down!
–Ladies Room, LIRR
Overheard by: BK
Guy on cell in toilet stall: Now I am unbuckling my belt. (pause) Now I am unzipping my pants. (pause) Now I am pulling down my pants. (pause) Now I am pulling down my underwear. (pause) Now I am sitting down.
–Men's Room, Billy Elliott
Old guy peeing in a urinal, with childlike delight and glee: Wheeeee! Wheeeeeeeeee! Wooooooooooooo! Wheeeeeeeee!
–Men's Room, McDonald's
