Guy #1: You know, I just love fucking my girlfriend up the ass.
Guy #2: Why do you want to tell me that?
Guy #1: It’s better than anything.
Guy #2: Dude, I don’t care, shut the fuck up.
Guy #1: It’s like putting your dick in a extremely tight and warm–
Guy #2: Dude, honestly, I don’t give a fuck, so if you are going to start again, I’m gonna rip out your throat. Comprende?
–F train
Overheard by: Ting
Young gay guy in Daisy Dukes, shades and tank top, yammering away on cell: Is it totally acceptable to have sex on the beach there?
–43rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Anna Rose
Teen boy to friend: If I were a giant I'd fuck the Statue of Liberty!
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: Henry
Chick to friend: As soon as I get over this yeast infection, I'm gonna bang the shit out of him.
–McDonald's, Times Square
Overheard by: Keep It Movin'
Black guy on cell: Penetration?! Penetration?! It ain't about penetration, it's all about sensation.
–E 4th St
Overheard by: girl named sugar
Drunk man to drunk woman, while making out against a car: Let's just go with it…let's just fuck on top of the car.
–Bleecker & Macdougal
Girl to the guy at the next table: Haven't I slept with you before?
–Stabrucks, 78th & Lexington
Overheard by: Ashlee
Girl: You know what I really hate?
Guy: What?
Girl: Gays, queers. You know, that kind of stuff.
Guy: Ah…but you watch yaoi.
Girl: So?
–Odessa, Avenue A
Overheard by: allison
Girl: How are you supposed to have sex without an apartment? Isn’t your father worried for your penis?
Guy: Lord knows… But my penis is, like — singing the blues.
Girl: Oh my God, so sad!! My vagina is begging for a vacation — though she can’t because she is booked two weekends in a row.
–Broadway & Prince
Overheard by: Willy Holiday
Hipster girl: And he's always like, "oh god, I'm so hard!" and I'm always just like, "really?"
–Kimmel Cafeteria, NYU
Loud passenger: I'm so horny I'd fuck a potato right now.
–Metro-North
Overheard by: fingerling
Guy: I've had a hard-on all day! I need to polish my lid.
–Hard Rock Cafe
Bearded hipster to another, on blanket in the park: Like, I could have sex eight times in a day and still come here and get a boner.
–McCarren Park, Williamsburg
Overheard by: kalbijim
Girl to guy friend: Did you just get a boner while we're talking about Mexicans and drowning?
–Williamsburg
Thug in truck to guy kissing his girlfriend: Oh, get a room dude!
Guy kissing his girlfriend: Get a girl!
–82nd St
20-something guy on cell: I'm sure she wants to castrate me. (pause) Remember her Asian friend, well… (pause) Yeah, I hit that. (pause, then uncontrollable laugh) I gots the yellow fever!
–59th St & 11th
Chinese brother to sister: All Asians get off at this stop. (looking out window) See? They're all Asian. (pause) Oh, wait, there's one English guy.
–Grand Street Stop, D Train
Overheard by: Justin W
Asian girl on cell: You know how people say all Asians look the same? Well, I realized something today. All white people look the same to me–I honestly can't tell them apart!
–Port Authority
20-something Asian girl on cell, in perfect American English: So, I just got welcomed to America for the second time today. Are my clothes that… (with disgust) Asian?
–Metro-North
Overheard by: RedShikari
Guy to friends sitting on steps: Anyone want any chips?
(distributes snack chips)
Friend: Hey! What flavor of chips are these? They taste like paint smells!
Guy: Paint chips.
–Union Square
Overheard by: akb427
Guy: Hey, you look pretty…
Girl: Fuck off!
Guy: Don't interrupt…pretty ugly.
–C Train
Guy: Where did everyone go?
Girl: They’re all in the bedroom looking at Nina’s breasts.
Guy: Again? Well, I guess it’s not really a party until Nina’s boobs make an appearance.
Loud girl’s voice from bedroom: Oh my god, Nina, your nipples are perfect!
–East Village
