Hobo: When I point, everybody smell collard greens.
–6 train
Hobo: When I point, everybody smell collard greens.
–6 train
Girl: He has a really amazing skull.
–Bakery, Cortelyou Road
Guy to friend: Why is that girls can get away with picking their noses?
–170th St & Broadway
Loud girl on cell in line at deli: You know I have bladder issues whenever I have sex!
–Broadway & Ooper
Lady suit, screaming into cell: Colon cleanse! Colon cleanse! Colon cleanse! I need a goddamn colon cleanse!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Colin
Girl #1: …but I mean, it would have been so cute if we had gotten pregnant at the same time…
Girl #2: Yeah, i’m kinda bummed…
Girl #1: We would totally get our abortions together!
Girl #2: Oh my god, we would!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Penelope Galleon
Curly-haired chick: Your condom consumption should not intimidate people.
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Woman: He bought a car? With seven grand you buy condoms… or a house. But a car?
–6 train
Overheard by: Sabrina
Girl on cell: So I’m just at the pharmacy picking up a prescription… [Lowers voice] You know, my pills… What? My pills! You know, those pills I take so that I don’t get pregnant when your dumb ass busts inside me!
–Duane Reade, 34th & Park
Overheard by: Laughing my dumb ass off
Perky girl to friend: Yeah, and then he said, ‘What the heck?’ and flung the condom across the room.
–Astor Pl
20-ish chick: The ribs do nothing for me, but I buy ‘Her pleasure’ condoms for political reasons.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred
Young girl, panicky: Do you know where I can find the morning-after pill?!
–CVS
UES bimbo #1: I need to use a different bronzer, I'm like orange.
UES bimbo #2: Oh my god!
UES bimbo #1: Oh my god!
–R Train
Black lady: I don’t eat fried food. Grease is the enemy. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I wanted fried food all the time. This one day, I left work to go eat some fried fish, and I ate it. And I stayed there. And you know what happened? The grease came up and the fish stayed down.
–Precious Nails, 94th & 3rd
Suit #1 to suit #2: We can do whatever you want today. I just don’t like the stuff you make me do that makes me throw up.
–AJ Maxwell’s, 48th & 6th
Overheard by: their waitress
Doctor guy: What brings you here today?
Woman: You’re not wearing ID. Are you a doctor?
Doctor guy: Oh, I’m sorry, I left it at the computer.
He goes to get it.
Man: What didja do that for?
Woman: How do you know he’s really a doctor? He could be a homosexual.
–Coney Island Hospital
Overheard by: Iris Kalashnikova
Daughter: Yeah, and it turns out she has an extra valve in her heart!
Dad: Whoa, what does that do?
Daughter: It messes with her hormones… and stuff…
Dad: What, does she think she’s a man?
–Times Square
20-something woman #1: What kind of a name is “Osmosis Jones,” anyway?
20-something woman #2: Osmosis is a real thing actually. It's an ingredient in vitamin water.
–Kingsbridge & Jerome, The Bronx
Overheard by: not a scientist…
Hobo lady: It’s gonna rain hard!
Hobo guy: I guess I’ll get the soap ready.
–Astor Place & Cooper Square
