Hobo to one-legged girl walking by: Damn you're sexy, even without that leg!
Bag lady: He wants you to fuck him with your nub.
–Thompkins Square Park
Hobo to one-legged girl walking by: Damn you're sexy, even without that leg!
Bag lady: He wants you to fuck him with your nub.
–Thompkins Square Park
Hobo: Excuse me, do you have a dollar you could spare?
Guy: Sorry, man.
Hobo: Do you have 4 quarters?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Charlie
Street preacher: You need the blood! The blood of Jesus!
Crazy hobo: You need a good butt fucking! Right in the mouth!
–Union Square
Suit on cell: If he doesn’t get me the fucking money, I’ll kill that bitch!
Hobo: How about you give me some money, and I’ll kill that bitch?
–St. Mark’s
Hobo: Yo man, it’s freezing outside! Can I get a shirt?
Teenager with suitcase: No, go away.
Hobo: Come on man, you probably got like ten shirts in there.
Teenager with suitcase: Listen to me bum, you’re already wearing ten shirts, you’re not getting a shirt.
Bum: My name’s Max.
Teenager with suitcase: I’m Peter.
–Penn Station
Elderly janitor, watching pierced teenagers get in line: I'm gonna fart on one of these people.
–Broadway & Houston
Angry man on cell: They think they're so perfect, but I bet they piss and burp and fart like the rest of us.
–80th St & 34th Ave
Hobo: Can you spare some change? I need to buy some new underwear, I farted and shat in these.
–83rd St & Broadway
Overheard by: new girl in town
Tiny brunette: Have you ever had to pee so bad, and suddenly you fart and then you don't have to pee that badly anymore?
–7 Train
Young woman to friend: Yeah, and then she started fartin' a bunch. But she was farting out of her pussy. And Ashley got pissed, cause then, she started makin' a beat out of it.
–125th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Stephen
Hobo: Anybody help me feed my stomach? No? I hope all you get home safe. And don’t burn your house down. And don’t smoke no crack.
–6 train
Overheard by: P. Von Kant
Hobo: I said I was hungry. Hungry. I can’t eat this bird-food shit! Why’d you give me this?
–9th St. & 2nd Ave
Hobo: Wanna see the real Zoo York? Bend over and I’ll show ya.
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Dan Arcuri
Hobo: I am homeless and ashy. Can anyone spare some lotion? I want to go from ashy to classy.
–A Train
Overheard by: SBroto
Hobo: If looks could kill I'd be dead. Kind words don't hurt nobody. I give sandwiches.
–Shuttle to Grand Central
Overheard by: alan b hutscar
Panhandler, holding top hat overflowing with bills: And take your newspapers and personal belongings with you, I got company comin' over tonight!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Anthony LoDuca
Hobo: You think anyone ever went to Harvard and forgot about it?
–Central Park
Hobo, near no tripping hazards or holes: Watch your step! Don't fall! Look where you're going! Don't fall down!
–4th & Broadway
Singing hobo: I'm gonna be on Broadway! You're all invited! I don't care what you look like. Even you! (points to random man)
–1 Train
Drunk frat boy to other drunk frat boy: Fuck you!
Hobo, overlooking: Not if I get there first!
–1 Train
Girl to another, loudly: Oh my god! Where the fuck were you this morning? I was about to text you, but I realized you couldn't text. And I couldn't text either! And you wouldn't pick up your phone! And I needed to talk to you! But I couldn't reach you! So I just like fucking sat there and screamed for ten minutes!
–B9 Bus
20-something male to friend: I am so MIA right now. I am MIA. Like, I text you, but I am MIA. Like, so many people send texts to me, and I'm just MIA.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: dallas
Girl leaving movie: Well, I'm sure she'll send out a mass text the second she has her baby.
–AMC Theater 19th & Broadway
Overheard by: Julie
20-something to another: Tiffany, I know I left Jason at the altar…but why didn't he text me back?
–1849 Bar, MacDougal & Bleecker
Laughing hobo to another: That is the funniest joke I've ever heard! You have to text that to me!
–St. Mark's Church, 2nd Ave & 9th St
Overheard by: cody
