Hobo to girl in lifeguard shirt: You really a lifeguard? I’m drowning!
–7th & Ave A
Hobo to girl in lifeguard shirt: You really a lifeguard? I’m drowning!
–7th & Ave A
Old woman: You should really go to the men’s homeless shelter.
Hobo: I’m a woman.
–25th & 3rd
Overheard by: Marcus
Ranting woman: We should be boycotting products from all those big corporations like Microsoft, and General Motors, and Nike, and–
Hobo: Shut the fuck up before the corporation gets to you and tortures you to death.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Ting
Hobo: Fuck God! I am God, and God is dead.
–Bedford Ave, Williamsburg
Woman on cell: Why aren't you looking for some boy to do it for free?
–E 3rd & 1st Ave
Overweight MTA worker with megaphone: Free shuttle buses to Utica Ave. Follow the crowd. Free shuttle buses to Utica Ave. Follow the crowd. No shirt, no shoes: no service!
–Franklin Ave Subway
Overheard by: Jesus Jon
Homeless guy: Free boogers! Get your free boogers!
–8th & 6th
Overheard by: Zack
Old woman with glass of wine and full plate, stumbling out onto the sidewalk: Ha! It's free! Everyone, free food! Ha!
–Open House Art Exhibition, 106th St & Broadway
Guy giving out free pens: Come on, don't be shy! Come get your free pens! This is New York City, only thing you're gonna get for free are these pens and your mother's love.
–Kimmel, NYU
Wanna-be thug eating ice cream: Wanna know how much I paid for this? S'free! I stole it.
–125th St & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Hobo stopped for stealing a box of bottled water: But Obama's President! Everything should be motherfucking free for the next 279 years!
–Duane Reade
Hobo: You white, right?
Hipster: Uh, yeah.
Hobo: I’m the 10 thousand-foot-tall sequoia tree, and you’re a 10 thousand-year-old white man!
–6 train
Hobo to white guy walking with three black friends: What's up, slave owner?
–The Village
Girl on phone: We should practice selling ourselves to each other.
–Subway Sandwiches, 38th & 7th
Crazy man on train: America! America! Anybody wanna buy some white people?
–A Train
Ditzy girl to friend: So I had this black boyfriend one time, and we had to break up because he kept talking about slavery. I was all, hello, I'm Czech, my people were slaves too.
–Columbia University School of Social Work
Overheard by: Eric
Black toddler to mortified white nanny: Wanna play slave?
–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Chick: There are so many homeless people around today. Like they’ve come out of hibernation or something.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: isabelle
Chick: I hate this museum. It’s filled with stuffed monkeys who all look like they’re crying.
–D train at 81st St, Natural History Museum
Hobo: Hey man, can I have a buck?
Abercrombie: No, I’m sorry, I only have $2 on me.
Hobo: Come on man.
Abercrombie: I’m really sorry pal…I need it.
Hobo: Come on! You’re pretty and pretty people are never broke.
Abercrombie: Yes we are! We just look better in it, now leave me alone!
–42nd & 7th
Overheard by: Matthew Mundo
Mother to five-year-old daughter: That's why she's a very smart woman. She married a very rich man for exactly that reason.
–University Place &10th St
Overheard by: evanescent
Homeless man to little boy with parents: Ask your mama why she marry your daddy. She'll tell you it was for the money.
–Statue of Liberty
Sorority girl to another: So like, do you think Brad makes good investments?
–53rd & 1st
Asian girl on cell: It's like I have a sign that says "trophy wife" written across my forehead, and then they find out I'm 22 and the sign is suddenly in neon.
–Tribeca
Girl on cell: No, you remember, I'm going to be a gold-digger! It's like a hooker, but smarter.
–NYU Classroom
