Six-year-old girl #1: I’m going to write them a very stern letter about this!
Six-year-old girl #2: Who?
Six-year-old girl #1: Global warming!
Six-year-old girl #2: Global warming’s not a person, fart-face.
–Court & Degraw St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Global Warming, the person
Taxi driver to colleague: Man, you know I don’t smoke that marijuana. How could you say that? It doesn’t do anything for me. So, I smoke crack. [turns to a young woman with bags] Want a taxi?
Young woman: No, especially if you smoke crack.
Taxi driver: It doesn’t matter what I smoke. If you can’t afford a taxi, just say that. Don’t insult me.
–In front of the Pathmark on Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
Hot soccer mom: Yesterday his mother actually asked me if I own a can opener! Do you believe that? What a bitch. She lives to put me down.
Friend: Wait… So you do own a can opener?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: that girl
Guy at bar: And so I keep trying to tell my wife that sienna is not a color.
Girl passing by: Yes it is! Burnt sienna is a crayon you slanderous prick!
–Restaurant, Bleecker Street
Frustrated bouncer: You don’t speak Spanish, you don’t speak Chinese, what the fuck do you speak?
–Broome Street, Chinatown
Woman, talking to friends: And I love how his "Dominican" wife has an Irish accent.
–109th & Broadway
Overheard by: Cassandra
Crazy guy running: The British are coming! The British are coming!
–8th St & 6th Ave
Woman talking to friend: So this Chinese guy told me he was speaking Vietnamese. I never knew that Vietnam was in china! I felt so ignorant after that.
–St. Mark’s & 1st Ave
30-something woman to her female friend: I didn’t know he was gay. I just thought he was French.
–E 34th St
Foreign woman, after the entire audience has been screaming "Cunt! Cunt!" at the end of "Reclaiming Cunt" during "The Vagina Monologues": I think my English is improving!
–New School
Girl #1: I don’t understand why he was so upset. It’s not like I was being insensitive or anything.
Girl #2: Are you serious? You asked him if he had aids!
Girl #1: Yea, but only because he said he was gay!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Timmy Lee
Big black guy: I thought she was goin’ to get an abortion?
Tiny Rican girl: Yeah, but she overslept and missed her appointment.
Big black guy: How do you miss an abortion appointment?!
Tiny Rican girl: Well she’s only seventeen, she’s not really responsible yet.
Big black guy, yelling: Well then maybe she shouldn’t have been thinking about sex yet! For Christ’s sake she missed her abortion appointment! What a whore!
–H&M, Brooklyn
Overheard by: SaraSil
Skinny girl #1: … And these guys always want to do blow with me, like all the time, it’s so weird!
Skinny girl #2: Awww, no one ever wants to do blow with me.
Skinny girl #1, whispering loudly: That’s because your ass is the size of Russia.
–Tiffany & Co.
Overheard by: EDW
Cab driver, to girl crossing the street when red hand signal is on: What are you doing!!?? [honks horn repeatedly.]Girl, taking her time crossing: Yeah, Yeah. So your horn blows, does your mother?!
–38th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Nic
Man: I’m getting kind of sick of Will Ferrell.
Woman: Well, he’s kind of an asshole…and he has bad teeth.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Ethan
