Drunk girl to very drunk guy falling asleep on girl: Get the fuck off her lap!
Very drunk guy, slurring: She grabbed me.
Drunk girl: That was me, you idiot!
–Q Train
Overheard by: Brooke
Drunk girl to very drunk guy falling asleep on girl: Get the fuck off her lap!
Very drunk guy, slurring: She grabbed me.
Drunk girl: That was me, you idiot!
–Q Train
Overheard by: Brooke
Dumb girl #1: If my ex wasn't an idiot I would call him.
Dumb girl #2: Why is he an idiot?
Dumb girl #1: Because he hooked up with one of my friends.
Dumb girl #2: That sucks.
Dumb girl #1: Yeah, she likes to get with friends' men.
Dumb girl #2: Wow! She's a bitch.
Dumb girl #1: Yeah… but so, should I call him?
–L Train
Girl on cell: It just… It's not like it sucks. (pause) It just sucks, ya know? I mean, I had my period this morning, and I just wanna get high.
–Borough of Manhattan Community College
Overheard by: 447ght
Customer, buying two packs of Kotex: Next time you order these, you should get the kind with deodorant. It really makes a difference!
–112th St & St. Nicholas
Guy on cell: Dude! Guys don't PMS!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: allie
Girl #1: I once made a Nativity from feminine products. (awkward silence) They weren't used, though…
–Barnard
Overheard by: Brooklyn
A thugged out girl tests all of her ring tones as loud as possible for a solid minute.
Preppy girl: Are you serious with that? Can you do everyone a favor and stop?
Thug girl: I know you’re not talking to me. You messed with the wrong girl.
Preppy girl: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. Your screaming phone made me deaf.
Thug girl: I’ll f her up. But then she’ll call the cops; her people love the cops. Go back to where you came from!
Preppy girl: I’m trying to. That’s why I’m on the train, you stupid bitch. Look, you got a new cell phone and that’s great, but figure it out at home.
Thug girl: I’ll f you up. You’re f-ing with the wrong girl. Don’t be fooled by the pretty face.
Preppy girl: Pretty face? Where?
–N train
Overheard by: Matty M.
Foreigner: Excusa me, sir, I get the milk, yes?
Barista #1 holding steamed milk: No. You ordered a Doppio. You don’t get no milk in a Doppio.
Foreigner, holding drink out to Barista #1: But the milk?
Barista #1, cradling milk: No! You don’t get no fuckin’ milk! Order a fuckin’ latte, and then I’ll give you some of this milk! You can pour yourself some of that stale shit from over there, but you don’t get none of this milk!
Barista #2 grabs cup and pours the customer some milk.
Barista #2 to Barista #1: Shit, this ain’t Valentine’s Day — don’t you get emotional. It’s some other holiday. Hell, it’s Christmas. [To customer] Here you go, sir! Merry Christmas!
–Starbucks, St. Marks & 3rd Ave
Bike guy: The light’s red. Move out of the way.
Woman: Fuck you. I don’t care if the light’s purple, bitch. I cross when I want!
–20th & 8th
Long Island law student #1: She is such a B-and-T troll dyke.
Long Island law student #2: Dude, she commutes from the city to Long Island. That doesn’t make her a B-and-T anything.
Long Island law student #1: Fine. Then she’s a reverse B-and-T troll dyke.
–LIRR
Average Joe: Short people are insufferable!
Shorter friend: Tell me about it!
–Bleecker St & Carmine St
Overheard by: Lezbotron
Headline by: Jane
Runners-Up:
· “…And They Have Limited Vocabularies and Will Agree With Anything” – Bob
· “I Thought I Just Did.” – Katie
· “That Scene From “The Wizard Of Oz” Was Like Hell on Earth!” – space coyote
· “To Be Fair, He Did Reply in That High-Pitched Cackle” – Kenneth
· “Tom Cruise Is Refreshingly Self-Aware” – Meg
Driver: You couldn't just give me a warning, huh? This ticket make your quota for you?
Female cop: Why, yes, yes it does! Now I get a free toaster from the city paid with your fine there!
–Parsons & 79th, Queens
Overheard by: Fly on the Wall
