Gay dude to girl friend: Stupid-ass Aids-filled cancer patient.
Girl friend: That's why you're gonna die tomorrow.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Glory
Gay dude to girl friend: Stupid-ass Aids-filled cancer patient.
Girl friend: That's why you're gonna die tomorrow.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Glory
Girl, swatting at guy: Stupid, stupid! LAPD?
Guy: Ow! What did I say? What?
Girl: Why would the LAPD be in New York?
Guy: Oh.
–Five Points, Manhattan
Apple executive, about owner: The way I see it, you plop down 14 dollars to listen to Kenny talk for an hour.
Fire department regular, paying check: I'd pay 24 dollars for Kenny to shut the fuck up while I'm trying to eat.
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: mhopkins
Ten-year-old girl #1: You suck at this game!
Ten-year-old girl #2: One day it will come in handy!
–Summer Camp, Staten Island
Overheard by: never know what you'll over hear as a camp counselor
Promoter, stopping college girls: Hey, do you girls like comedy?
Girls: (silence)
Promoter: Where are you two from?
(they look at each other, don't say anything)
Promoter: Helloooo? Where are you from?
(no reply)
Promoter: Are you guys retarded?!
(they storm off)
Girl #1 to girl #2: God! Someone would never say that to us in LA!
–Times Square
Overheard by: just visiting
Blonde: There were three of them; they were twins.
–Lunasa Bar, East Village
Guy on cell: You thought you had the right information, but you didn't have your dots crossed.
–B46 Bus
Overheard by: Brooklynluva
Latino girl in park: Don't read it, bitch, just put it on. It's good, it's sunblock. It protects you from the UVs and huh… The HIV positives, or whatever.
–125th St & Riverside
Overheard by: nearby park bather
Middle-aged guy: It took me forever to find this building; it was confusing because all the numbers were written with letters.
–One (oops, "1") E 53rd Street
Skinny chick #1: Shut up, bitch! I can totally see your rib cage.
Skinny chick #2: Well, that's only because I have a skinny rib cage!
–Plumm Bar, West Village
Overheard by: everyone wants to be fat, but not really
Hobo #1: So they said I had to do this ree-conciliation.
Hobo #2: Uh-huh.
Hobo #1: Tell you what, man: they can ree-conciliate deze nuts!
–Bowery Mission
Overheard by: h.g. #3
Suit #1: So my cousin in Scranton is also pregnant.
Suit #2: Yeah, what's the father like?
Suit #1: Complete loser.
Suit #2: Sucks, man. What does he do for work again?
Suit #1: Heroin.
–27th & 3rd
Overheard by: Chris Haddad
Ebullient cashier: Good morning, sir!
Yuppie, trying to control his two rambunctious children: What's so fucking good about it?
–Union Market, Park Slope
Overheard by: Thinking the same thing
