Little boy #1: Where are we going?
Little boy #2: We're walking to Russia.
–33rd & 8th
Overheard by: Miss Sunita
Little boy #1: Where are we going?
Little boy #2: We're walking to Russia.
–33rd & 8th
Overheard by: Miss Sunita
Young boy to mother: You poop too much. You poop all the time.
Mother: But everyone poops all the time. It's good to poop. People who don't poop are in trouble because they are constipated.
–Food Coop, Park Slope
Overheard by: Sometimes I'm in trouble too
Old Jewish woman at the start of Yom Kippur: I think god wants me to be in a theater rather than in temple.
–45th & 8th
Little boy to friend: It wasn't until last year that I realized that not everybody is Jews!
–Near Columbia
Overheard by: CSims
Gym receptionist discussing television series Mad Men: It's sexist against women…and Jews, too!
–10th & 7th
Overheard by: Zack
Elderly Jewish woman, in hushed voice, to elderly Jewish man: My rabbi is an atheist who lives in Israel! What can you say?
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: Rabbi's Agnostic daughter
Goyish looking guy with toddler in stroller: Well, you know the Hebrews always like to celebrate the New Year–especially in a year that ends in '69, if you know what I mean.
–Mercer & Broome
Overheard by: Garuda
Woman on cell: We're on the bus run by Hassidic Jews, ya know, like Woody Allen… It's like the Jewish express!… Nah, I'm covering up the phone so no one hears me.
–Vamoose Bus, Penn Station
Large man on payphone: I'm gonna kill her, man! I'm gonna fuckin' kill her! Then I'm gonna kill my cousin! I'm gonna go back to my house, kill that bitch, get my fuckin kittens, and kill my cousin! I want my kittens, man!
–SoHo
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
Father to kids: Which would you prefer, kitty casserole or puppy stew?
–72nd & Broadway
Suit: So one time I went into the bathroom and the cat was just like sitting on the toilet so I just unloaded on it. I told my roommate, like, "don't touch the cat" and then later I saw his girlfriend playing with it and hugging and kissing it. It was very funny.
–Downtown 6 Train
Upset-looking college student on cell: Ugh! My cat almost just died…and you're making this about your feelings?!
–Columbia Quad
Student: That's okay, I'll just eat my mom and fuck my cat.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Toddlington
Student: Well, the situation in the essay is hopeless, you know? It's like finding a kitten in the subway and you want to take it with you because kittens just don't belong in the subway. But then you remember that you live in a building that doesn't allow pets and your roommate is allergic. So, your roommate is going to hate you and your landlord is going to evict you. I realize this is a bad example. I just really want a kitten.
–Eugene Lang College
Overheard by: Colleen
Six-year-old girl, looking at upside down painting of a man's portrait: It's upside down!
Nine-year-old brother: Who says its upside down?
–MoMa
Overheard by: Jesse Benjamin
Child: What's in there? (points to dad's briefcase)
Dad: In here? Guns, people's heads…
Child: Cool!
–Uptown M16 Bus
Seven-year-old son of thug: I'm gonna be America's Next Top Model!
Thug dad: You kiddin' me?! You a baby. You America's next top baby.
–147th & Fredrick Douglas Blvd
Overheard by: Trixie
Bratty tourist child #1: Ow, she's hitting me! She's hitting me in my head!
Overwhelmed mom: Brittany*! Brittany*, stop that! Why would you do that?
Bratty tourist child #2, shoving #1: But mom, mom, she ignorant!
–Starbucks, 53rd & Broadway
Tourist mom: Oh, look, it's a rat! Come here kids, look, it's a rat!
Tourist kid: Eww, its gross!
Tourist mom: Remember this, this is an authentic New York City experience. See, aren't you glad we missed that subway?
–Bowling Green Station
Overheard by: Guy
Midwestern tourist dad: Next we're going to the Empire State Building.
Six-year-old daughter: How far is it? Do we have to walk?
Midwestern tourist dad: Yes, it'll be fun.
Six-year-old daughter (in super whiny voice): Why? It's too far, I don't wanna walk!
Midwestern tourist dad: It'll be fun, we'll see the sights along the way.
Six-year-old daughter (on the verge of a tantrum): But I don't wanna!
Midwestern tourist dad (in very calm and soothing voice): Well, you can walk with us, or you can just lay down and die.
–5th Ave & 38th St
