Subway beggar to the people on train : Yo, my daughter just died and I don't have any money to bury her… (recognizes someone on the train) Yo!
Man on the train: Hey! How's the wife?
Subway beggar: Oh, she good, she good. She be working too! She working on the 4 line!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Faye
Mother wagging finger, scolding son: I'm very disappointed in you!
Six-year-old son: Mommy, don't get mad at me, we were only trying to break each other's bones.
–W11th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Julie
Man to young son on Yom Kippur services: Listen, Benny, if you don't sit in services, god is going to write your name in the book of death.
Benny: Book of death! Book of death!
–Congregation B'nai Israel
Little girl: I hate fish.
Mom (very seriously): You do not hate fish. They have never done anything to you. You may not like eating fish, but you do not hate them.
–SoHo
Little boy: Noooo! You didn't die, I died!
Little girl: Argghhh! The crocodiles are coming!
–134th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Tigertail
Corporate girl: Dude, he's got a monkey.
Corporate guy: A monkey?
Corporate girl: Yeah.
Corporate guy: Like a real monkey? Or a monkey monkey?
Corporate girl: Like a real monkey.
Corporate guy: Does it bite his kids?
–52nd St & Ave of the Americas
Overheard by: what's a monkey-monkey?
Angry Spanish boyfriend: You know why I'm talking to you like this! Because your boss was sitting there and you probably had no damn clothes on!
–Broad Channel Subway Station
Girl to friend: Yeah, I can't wait until we take off our clothes and do our make up!
–116th & 3rd
(20-something couple is walking down the street with arms around each other)
Woman: So were you self-conscious when you took off your clothes in front of the children?
–28th & 5th
White guy answering cell: Negrooooo… I'm on the Long Island Railroad being completely homosexual… You missed it, completely naked…
–LIRR
Overheard by: Xavier
Five-year-old girl, before performance begins: Are they going to take *all* their clothes off?
—Hair, Delacorte Theater
Girl to friend: God! I remember when my brother ran into my room naked screaming that he had two buttholes.
–Subway, 14th & 1st
Overweight middle age white guy to friend: I know, I get it, you like to sit naked in the mud while some guy serenades you on his guitar singing about things I don't believe and can't understand. That's your thing. I prefer hockey.
–89th & 4th, Brooklyn
Little kid: We're going to the city to get mommy titties!
–LIRR Train
Punk chick: This thing needs bazooms. I'm a punker chick with itty bitties.
–Midtown Office
Girl to female friend: Hey, did you know today is the three-year anniversary of my boobs?
–Union Square
Crazy lady trying to exchange a shirt: I can't go to work with my tits hanging out!
–Abercrombie & Fitch
Overheard by: me neither.
Chick on cell: In his defense, I forget about breasts, too.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Cop to another: So she said, "see ya later, alligator." To which I retorted, "in a while, crocodile."
–Cunningham Park, Queens
Girl on cell: That was the day I woke up with the pigeon in my bed!
–Christopher St
Law school chick, stopping and staring at pigeon in her path: You go girl!
–East Village
Girl on intercom: Llama needed at the Oyster Bar ramp for a spill!
–Grand Central
Suit to friend: I mean, I don't understand. If people really want to pay like $30,000 to hunt them, I don't see what the problem is.
–Bronx Zoo
Curly grey-haired middle aged crafty lady: If you let them have sex with goats, they'll leave children alone!
–Crafts Fair, Red Hook Fairway
Overheard by: Myrtle & Carlton
Nanny: Do you still like that boy from your class?
Six-year-old girl: No! He stinks.
Nanny: Aww, what happened? He was so cute, I thought.
Six-year-old girl: I know. But he ejected me.
Nanny: Rejected you?
Six-year-old girl: Ejected me!
–Smith & 9th Station
