Her Sister Reports Directly to the Vice President

Eleven-year-old girl, listening to iPod: Ok, so I can’t listen to any high school music, right?
Her nine-year-old sister: Yeah.
Eleven-year-old girl: Ok, just making sure.

–Metro-North, Harlem Line

Overheard by: jenny’s hero

Posted on November 20, 2015
iPod, Kids, Trains Not Subway

When You Decide to Have Kids, You're in for a Rocky Road.

Mother, about her hyperactive child: Looooong day. Long day, and too much ice cream.
Hyperactive child: No.

–King Tut Exhibit, Times Square

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on November 17, 2015
Food, Kids, Moms, More museums, Parents, Should've Used a Condom, Times Square

Every Nasty Thing You Say to a Kid Will Come Back to You

[A woman is dragging a five-year-old boy into the women’s restroom.]Boy: I don’t want to go in.
Woman: Come on, it’ll only take a minute.
Boy: But you can wipe your ass by yourself now!

–Times Square

Posted on November 15, 2015
Ass, Boys, Default, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Times Square, Weirdness, Words

Mine’s Working Now, You Treacherous Little Faggot

Little boy: You can’t tell.
Mom: Yes, you can sense it. It’s called gaydar.

–Central Park

Posted on November 14, 2015
Central Park, Gays and Lesbians, Kids, Moms

Young Urban Professional Wednesday One-Liners

Yuppie screenwriter girl: So I was a very precocious child. Or whatever, y'know. And I just wanted to explore that dynamic a little bit? Basically it's a buddy picture between the little me and the big me.

–14th & 8th

Yuppie woman: And what do I say to that? "I have a smack habit, give me money"!

–St. Mark's Place

Yuppie man: If I hear "breast milk cupcakes" one more time…

–Outside Gotham Bar and Grill

Yuppie, thoughtfully: It's not the mustard, it's what the mustard represents!

–Food Emporium, 2nd Ave

Posted on November 12, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Food, Girls, Grocery Stores, Height, Kids, Men, Money & Class, One-liners, Philosophy, Pictures, Psychology, Questions, Rack, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Words, Yuppies

She'd Have So Much in Common with Them

Bro #1: Dude, I don't know, every day this week she's been upset. Crying about something, then apologizing…
Bro #2: Solid. You guys should make kids.

–4 Train

Posted on November 11, 2015
Apologies, Crying, Guys, Kids, On the Subway, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Relationships

But If You Write It All Down, You’re a Novelist

Mom: Are you talking to yourself?
Five-year-old: Yes.
Mom: As long as you don’t answer yourself.
Five-year-old: Why?
Mom: Because then you’re crazy.

–N Train

Overheard by: Hannah

Posted on November 9, 2015
Crazy, Default, Fears, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Parents, Questions

How about Astroglide Aston?

Sixth-grade boy #1: What’s my stripper name?
Sixth-grade boy #2: Sexy Frank.
Sixth-grade boy #3: No! The names have to have assonance!
Sixth-grade boy #2: My name is Horny Harry!
Sixth-grade boy #1: I’m Lubricant Liam!

–121 Lincoln Pl, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Anna