[A woman is dragging a five-year-old boy into the women’s restroom.]Boy: I don’t want to go in.
Woman: Come on, it’ll only take a minute.
Boy: But you can wipe your ass by yourself now!
–Times Square
[A woman is dragging a five-year-old boy into the women’s restroom.]Boy: I don’t want to go in.
Woman: Come on, it’ll only take a minute.
Boy: But you can wipe your ass by yourself now!
–Times Square
Little boy: You can’t tell.
Mom: Yes, you can sense it. It’s called gaydar.
–Central Park
Yuppie screenwriter girl: So I was a very precocious child. Or whatever, y'know. And I just wanted to explore that dynamic a little bit? Basically it's a buddy picture between the little me and the big me.
–14th & 8th
Yuppie woman: And what do I say to that? "I have a smack habit, give me money"!
–St. Mark's Place
Yuppie man: If I hear "breast milk cupcakes" one more time…
–Outside Gotham Bar and Grill
Yuppie, thoughtfully: It's not the mustard, it's what the mustard represents!
–Food Emporium, 2nd Ave
Bro #1: Dude, I don't know, every day this week she's been upset. Crying about something, then apologizing…
Bro #2: Solid. You guys should make kids.
–4 Train
Mom: Are you talking to yourself?
Five-year-old: Yes.
Mom: As long as you don’t answer yourself.
Five-year-old: Why?
Mom: Because then you’re crazy.
–N Train
Overheard by: Hannah
Sixth-grade boy #1: What’s my stripper name?
Sixth-grade boy #2: Sexy Frank.
Sixth-grade boy #3: No! The names have to have assonance!
Sixth-grade boy #2: My name is Horny Harry!
Sixth-grade boy #1: I’m Lubricant Liam!
–121 Lincoln Pl, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Anna
Mom: Don’t kick that box! It could have a bomb in it!
Four-year-old boy: Oh, great, Mom. Something else to worry about.
–58th & 2nd
Overheard by: Ethan
Little Asian girl: Mommy, are you Jewish?
–86th & Broadway
Woman: I need to pick up my child from daycare, where would she be?
Security guard: What age group?
Woman: I think she’s one.
–Rockefeller Plaza
Dad: King of the Hill?
Six-year-old daughter: Yeah!
Dad: Simpsons?
Six-year-old daughter: Yeah!
Dad: Alf?
Six-year-old daughter: Noooooooo.
–117th & Broadway
