Mom to tween daughter: Are you mad at me?
Tween daughter: No, I'm not mad at you.
Mom: Why aren't you mad at me? You have every right to be.
–NJ Transit
Mom to tween daughter: Are you mad at me?
Tween daughter: No, I'm not mad at you.
Mom: Why aren't you mad at me? You have every right to be.
–NJ Transit
Mother: You sent 340 text messages and went over the plan. You owe me $10.
Daughter: Can I have $10?
Mother: Sure. (hands daughter $10)
Daughter: Here! (hands mother $10)
–Outside St. James Theatre
Punk rocker to ghetto chick: Say…you ever been fucked by a smelly guy in a banana suit?
–J Train
Overheard by: Markthrone
Loud, laughing redhead on cell: Ha ha! I'll plant another pear tree, and that will be Tricia!
–W 57th St
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Brosef to girls (oddly aggressively): Which do you like more, bananas or oranges? Say it!
–14th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Rooting for bananas
Guy on cell: Did you order the poster of the banana?
–Central Park
Overheard by: urbanadventurer
Overachiever mom to 5-year-old girl: No, I'm not saying that you have to have a piece of fruit. I'm saying that when we get there, you'll get to choose. It'll be your choice. You can choose fruit or you can choose a granola bar. (pause) Of course, fruit is the healthier choice.
–7th Ave & 26th St
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Heavily tattooed man: So we started playing this game. We shoved grapes up her ass, and she had to drop them in a martini glass.
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Housey
Conductor on train: Ladies and gentlemen, if you see the person who is annoyingly pressing the buzzer please direct him to a conductor so they can be arrested and we can all go home.
–Metro North Train
Overheard by: Allison
Hobo: Now you're going to give me a quarter sir, and then I'm going to arrest you.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Eric
Guy on cell: Mike is getting his crazy ass released? For real? (pause) He's paying taxes?! Thug!
–M Train
Teenybopper: I'm going to jail tonight, I don't care. I'm gonna fuckin' kill that bitch!
–30th b/w 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: eavesdropper
Prospective employee to another: I can't believe she tells me how to fill out the fingerprint card! I've been done hauled to the precinct so many times…
–Elevator, Midtown Building
Ghetto mama: Why somebody call me from prison gotta be my husband? Hell no, that nigga is past tense!
–54 Bus
Older mother: Do you need a pomegranate, or are you good?
Teen: I'm good.
–Fruit Cart, 18th & 6th
Overheard by: EthanK
Adorable little boy: Mommy, can I have a Hershey bar?
Mom: Yes.
Adorable little boy: I want this big one.
Mom: You can't have a candy bar that big…you might catch the obesity virus.
–Broadway & 2nd
(moon is covered by a cloud)
Five-year-old boy: Where is the moon?
Mom (looking everywhere): Once it's full it goes back to the beginning, so no moon tonight.
–86th & 5th
Overheard by: Stephanie
Ten-year old girl: Can I have another baby?
Mom: Um… No…maybe two.
–W 238th & Broadway
Overheard by: Krisztina, hoping to God they're talking about dolls
Thug to baby momma: You see, what had happened was Zack Morris married Kelly Kaposki in Vegas.
Baby momma: That's what had happened?
Thug: Yeah, and then Kelly Kaposki changed her name and she stayed in Vegas.
–W. 117th & Lenox
Nine-year-old kid: I don't have two dollars. You had two dollars and you refused to give it to me.
Mom: I gave it to the sales guy!
Nine-year-old kid: That's not me! You gave it to the sales guy without even asking me if I wanted it!
–23rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Vanessa
