NYU

Chick: You can't really have sex with a Sphinx, the body is a lion.
Guy: Sphinxes are still titty-fuckable!

–NYU

Overheard by: LSB

Woman on cell: Okay, but this time please stay out of my underwear drawer.

–Astor Place

Overheard by: Jess

Overconfident guy: I know, I know. You say you have a 3.7 at NYU Law, and the panties just drop.

–Dorm, NYU Law

Overheard by: holdingbacklaughter

Little old lady on park bench to another: Well, I've been stuffing my bra now, and now I can't find my money.

–Central Park West & 63rd St

Overheard by: Jen

Woman: My dog only eats my underwear. He doesn't eat my son's. He doesn't eat my husband's. Only mine! I wonder why. (pauses to think) Hmm… it must be that feminine smell.

–E 40th St

Overheard by: TMI

Livid man on cell: No! You can't have your underwear back!

–Chelsea

NYU girl to friend: So then he like bitched me out, hardcore, in a text. And he didn’t talk to me for like a day so I was just like, “Ugh, whatever.” But then he ended our relationship on facebook! And I was just like, “Oh my god!” I need someone who’s mature, y’know?
Friend: Oh… Yeah. Totally.

–NYU

Overheard by: Clook

Nerd #1, right before exam: You’re making me sweat! And not in a sexual way!
Nerd #2: Then I’m not interested.

–NYU

Chick: If we ever do go to Vegas, we have to see a brothel!
Queer: Isn’t that where monks live?

–Rubin Hall elevator, NYU

Skinny girl: Overweight people have the best sense of humor. Skinny people–
Fat girl: –They’re not funny.
Skinny girl: I don’t know what it is about being fat.

–Alumni Hall elevator, NYU

Overheard by: zelda

Female college student: I keep telling you, you’re not gay!
Male college student, sheepish: I know, I know…

–NYU

Hip gay teen girl #1: But she doesn't like fantasy!
Hot gay teen girl: Well, I don't like fantasy either, like I don't like Dungeons and Dragons, or dinosaurs, or anything.
Hip gay teen girl #2: But…dinosaurs were real.

–NYU Dorm

Overheard by: Samwell

Seven-year-old boy to father: Did you know that when you get into middle school, all the girls care about is whether you're rich and have a cute ass? In elementary school, they only care about if you can run fast. If you run the fastest, you get all the girls.

–Flushing, Queens

Overheard by: Tara

Small boy to teacher in increasingly panicky voice: Is this Narnia? We're not Narnians yet, right?!

–NYU Kimmel Center

Overheard by: Narnia @ NYU?

Five-year-old to three-year-old brother: Listen, we're going to have food all winter. It's hibernation. You know what hibernation is, don't you? Hibernation is when animals eat a lot of food and sleep all winter. We're gonna hibernate!

–M104 Bus

Overheard by: Samantha

Little kid: Grandma, smell this! It's Obsession for Men!

–Bergdorf Goodman

Sobbing five-year-old girl to mom in CD section: I wanna download, I don't wanna waste my money.

–Borders, Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Can records labels sue toddlers?

Dude: Do you mean the guy you threw up on?
Chick: Yeah, but not the frat boy, the other one.

–Silver building, NYU