Drunk girl #1: We’re going to the Taj Lounge!
Drunk girl #2: Yeah we’re going to the Taj Lounge! [To random guy.] Get your hot ass to the Taj Lounge!
Drunk girl #1: Leave your face here!
–21st St
Drunk girl #1: We’re going to the Taj Lounge!
Drunk girl #2: Yeah we’re going to the Taj Lounge! [To random guy.] Get your hot ass to the Taj Lounge!
Drunk girl #1: Leave your face here!
–21st St
Drunk guy with thick NY accent: You girls… You girls are visiting the greatest city in the world.
Drunk tourist girls: [giggle.]Drunk guy with thick NY accent: You wanna know why? You wanna know why this is the greatest city in the world?
Drunk tourist girl #1: Why?
Drunk guy with thick NY accent: ‘Cause I can stand right here on the street and ask you to suck my balls.
Drunk girl #1: Um, you can ask us that anywhere.
Drunk girl #2: Yeah… We’re from Wisconsin and people there ask us that all the time.
–Thompson and Bleecker
Overheard by: I guess the Cheeseheads are more brazen than we thought
Professor, matter of factly: In next week’s film you will see a cock. And it will ejaculate. I hope that’s okay with you all.
–Cantor Film Center, NYU
Professor: I guess I can’t trust you guys to write papers on something scandalous. Good thing I brought a pornographic film for later.
–Manhattan Campus, Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Norma Desmond
Contracts professor: So do you think Paris Hilton is a sucker?
–Brooklyn Law School
Professor to class, as he writes on board: …Moro Islamic Liberation Front, known for its acronym. [A few students get it and laugh.]
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Krisztina one of the first to laugh
Professor: On this index card I’d like you all to write your name and major, as well as your career fantasies. I say career fantasies because when you graduate I’ll see you paying off your loans working at the kwik-e-mart.
–St. John’s University
Overheard by: Erum
Korean professor: Here’s how you calculate the intercept shit…
–NYU
English professor: You will find that English critical theory is the key to understanding not only literary perspectives, but also everything on YouTube.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: sromeo
Hot chick dragging male companion: But you’ll like it this time, you were drunk yesterday…
–19th & 8th
Disheveled homeless woman: Fuck that shit! I’m looking for a real drunk!
–42nd & 9th
Overheard by: Mike
Man on bike, swerving down street: Look out, get out of the way! Drunk driver coming through!
–Washington Square East and Washington Place
Overheard by: Out of the way!
Appreciative preppy girl: Even though he’s a thug and a drunk, he’s a real intellectual.
–Art Fair at the Armory
Overheard by: Gina Beavers
Drunk guy about to chug: This reminds me of middle school. Got to get the 40 down before second period!
–Stan’s, Bronx
Young woman on cell: No, I do not need to get drunk more often, stop saying that mom!
–Union Square
Overheard by: McCrum
30-something woman to female friend: I’m so happy to see you! I haven’t had sex in a couple of months, except for a few straight girls.
–Carroll Gardens
Smoking chick on cell: I haven’t had sex yet either…I’ll let you know.
–1020 bar, 110th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Nilla wafer-eating chick: I don’t even understand why people have sex anymore!
–Columbia University
Guy yelling at a woman: Lady! Stop asking, I’m not having sex with you!
–34th & 6th
Guy on cell: Oh my god, do I need to say it? Fine! I promise I won’t try to put my penis in you. Okay?
–Avenue C
Overheard by: lingling
Guy on cell: That’s the thing about sex, it’s all in your head anyway.
–Union Square West
Overheard by: brita bit
Toddler in grocery cart seat: Do you know any songs?
Toddler in adjacent grocery cart seat (singing): I’ve been working of the F train, all the live long day, I’ve been working on the F train just to pass the time away; can’t you hear the whistle blowing, rise up so early in the ‘morn, can’t you hear the captain shouting, “stand clear of the closing doors!”
–Food Coop, Park Slope
Overheard by: Brooklyn, Baby!
Guy #1: The reason people don’t read enough is because there’s too many other forms of media that are more interesting. Why is some kid gonna pick up a book when he can watch one of the thousands channels on TV? That’s it! There needs to be a channel about books!
Guy #2: There is a channel about books. It’s called Book TV. It’s boring as hell.
Guy #1: Oh.
–Near Baruch College, 23rd St
Homeless guy: God is love and love is god! Give me money! Love like god does!
[five minutes later]Homeless guy: God is love and love is god! Give me money! Love like god does!
Passenger: I’ll pay you to shut up.
Homeless guy: How much? I won’t accept less than ten dollars.
–F Train
Girl: What do you mean, you like her? Like, you-want-to-bone-her like-her?
Guy: Could you please not say that!?
–NYU Kimmel Student Center
Overheard by: A. Haven
Bus driver, on loudspeaker: If your stop is Main street, please get off here.
Punk high school kid in back of bus: Fuckin’ asshole!
Bus driver, on loudspeaker: Yo mama.
–Q88 Bus
Overheard by: quite amused
